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Relationship Health Message Board


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I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and lately (yeah, lately... I should say, maybe, last year it got worse) he has really bad anger management issues. He gets annoyed or p_ssed of with... in my opinion, small stuff. He's very stubborn and spiteful so, when something doesn't go the way he planned he just starts to act... too wild, like throwing and breaking stuff and cursing...(he didn't hit me!never... but, still, when he's like that, I'm afraid that he could do it, one day) I've tried to talk with him and I tell him to calm down, but I really don't know what to do... I don't want to give up on him and this relationship but his bothers me, more and more.
It is hard to be with someone with such a volatile temper. He needs to learn alternate ways to express his frustrations. Would he be open to counseling for anger management?
Tough love may be the only answer with him. It sounds like you're describing a two-year-old...literally. Perhaps if you stood up to him (by telling him when he's not angry) that the next time acts in that way you are out the door without saying a word to him (and follow through with it) it may be enough for him to realize he's acting like a spoiled brat.
If you don't put your foot down i.e. he gets therapy or you're gone then this is what your life will be like with this man. Too many woman put up with men like this thinking that they can change him or help him - well... you can't do it. I've been there and never again. Nothing changes with a man that has anger issues until he seeks out help which may come with the threat of losing you. Just know that if you do nothing - nothing will change.

You have to risk losing the relationship if it has a chance of getting better. If not, then this is what you have in store for the duration of your relationship with him. Remember - you can't change him. Unless you wan't this drama for the long haul, you have to make the decision - either he gets help or you're gone.

Don't waste years with someone who is all to willing to use you as a whipping post.





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