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my gf went to see a concert (new kids on the block) with a bunch of friends tonight. apparently she was obsessed with them as a kid. she called when she got there and I wished her an awesome time. two hours go by and her friend sends me a series of text messages telling me that I should go to my girlfriend's house because she is really horny because of this group.

I called my girlfriend and told her what went down, she asked what was bothering me and I told her that her getting worked up over other guys hurt my feelings.... now she is pissed at me for ruining her night... am i unreasonable?

she is really blowing things out of proportion and saying that I am no longer allowed to talk to her friends. that she hates me for ruining another memory, and that i am being selfish.

she even went ahead and updated an online profile to say that she is completely obsessed with this group again. After telling her how I felt she goes to throw it in my face.

See the way I look at it is that lusting after a man is lusting after a man. It doesn't matter if he is a celebrity or not. The fact that she was lustful over another man is eating at me.

we are in our 30's and I really wish this wouldn't bother me but it really does. She dismisses my feelings as being ridiculous.
[QUOTE=js223;3775289]
See the way I look at it is that lusting after a man is lusting after a man. It doesn't matter if he is a celebrity or not. The fact that she was lustful over another man is eating at me..[/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree with you more. You have every right to feel this way. You're jealous because you care. She has blinders on because she's so enamored with the situation....People can't see straight when they get like this.

[QUOTE] two hours go by and her friend sends me a series of text messages telling me that I should go to my girlfriend's house because she is really horny because of this group.
[/QUOTE]

What the heck?? What does your girlfriend think you're supposed to do...Nothing??!?? I mean...What gives?? I'd be in a panic if I got this kind of phone call.

I think you have to fight fire with fire...I'd sit her down and explain your feelings and give her some example using the opposite sex. Ask her how she'd feel if you went to a Mirah Carey or Shania Twain concert and behaved the same way, and then afterwards, your friends called her with the same message. Ask her how'd she feel?

As far as her friends, they were obviously concerned enough to text you. Sounds like they were probably looking after both of you. I'd tell her that she shouldn't be mad at you because after all, they contacted you! I'd also tell her that putting up a road block between you and her friends is immature and middle school like, and isn't going to solve anything....All it's going to do is reinforce the trust issue you have to start with. I'd ask her how many couples with successful relationships have this kind of thing in place....It's absurd.

I hate to be so crass, but this woman needs to grow up. As you said, she's in her 30s.

Take care, and good luck.

Ex
I hope you didn't seriously get mad at your girlfriend over this! I would never allow one of my SO's friends to cause a major fight between us. However, I do think it was meant in fun, like maybe her friend thought you'd be happy that your G/F was coming home all fired up with you as the beneficiary.

My SO has a big crush on Gwen Stefani. He's gone so far as to say she's the "perfect woman". Well, she is adorable! And I'm no Gwen, but he's not ignoring me to drool over pictures of her. I'm the one he's living with. I have a big crush on a Nascar driver and a couple of NFL players, but if I'm watching football or a race and I get a little fired up watching sweaty athletes, he certainly doesn't get jealous! He just figures, he's going to get lucky later!

I think there are much more important issues to get worked up over. A cheesy boy band concert shouldn't be one of them.
I'm a woman in my 30s who went to this same concert about a month ago. My husband knew I was obsessed with the blue eyed one when I was 13 and thought the fact that a group of us girls were going was hysterical. He and I are both mature enough to know that you can find another person attractive and not have it be insulting to the other.

Now, with that being said I really think her friends were joking around with you. I'm willing to bet there were a few other boyfriends who got similar calls/texts and I'm sure non of them got this worked up. She was at a concert, most likely had a few drinks, and was feeling silly like she did when she was a teenager. If my husband reacted the way you did I think I would be pretty mad at him too.

I have to ask you js223, do you find any other woman on this planet attractive or just your girlfriend? Do you and your buddies ever go out and comment on a woman's looks? Do you watch porn or look at magazines? She was at a concert! She wasn't all "fired up" the way you think she was. She was having a good time with her friends and she was going to share her excitement with you afterwards. It seems to me your overreaction may have blown a good after party.
Well of course I find other women attractive but I never get to the point of getting all sexually worked up and wanting my girlfriend to fulfill a fantasy; i.e., having sex with her and picturing Jessica Alba. I spoke with her friend that sent the text messages because she felt really bad about causing a fight. I explained to her that it's not her fault how either of us reacted. She went on to say that's it's a stupid child hood crush, etc, etc, etc...

That is not how my girlfriend is coming across. I just spoke with her and I explained that to me, lusting after someone equates to wanting to have sex with them. she said that she wasn't lusting after them just their persona... well what does that mean? it's the same damn thing in my book.
[QUOTE=js223;3775688]Well of course I find other women attractive but I never get to the point of getting all sexually worked up and wanting my girlfriend to fulfill a fantasy; i.e., having sex with her and picturing Jessica Alba. I spoke with her friend that sent the text messages because she felt really bad about causing a fight. I explained to her that it's not her fault how either of us reacted. She went on to say that's it's a stupid child hood crush, etc, etc, etc...

That is not how my girlfriend is coming across. I just spoke with her and I explained that to me, lusting after someone equates to wanting to have sex with them. she said that she wasn't lusting after them just their persona... well what does that mean? it's the same damn thing in my book.[/QUOTE]

Well, like I said before, this is your issue. You obviously want someone who will feel desire for you and only you, and will never, ever imagine being with someone else even if they don't actually act on it. Your lady is someone who sees a fantasy as just that, harmless fantasy.

Are you willing to end the relationship over this? Is this a deal breaker for you? Because if not, you might just try to see her side of it and try to let your own hurt feelings go. I honestly don't think she meant to hurt you and probably never even imagined that you'd feel threatened by some guys approaching middle age in a band that should have stopped touring years ago (since it's ridiculous to call them "Kids").
[QUOTE=js223;3775688]That is not how my girlfriend is coming across. I just spoke with her and I explained that to me, lusting after someone equates to wanting to have sex with them. she said that she wasn't lusting after them just their persona... well what does that mean? it's the same damn thing in my book.[/QUOTE]

The "persona" is that feeling she got when she was 13 (or 14 or 15, etc.) when she listened to them or saw them in concert. It's the same thing that many women our age have done or will be doing soon. It is harmless fun that you are really taking too personally.

Her friend appologized to you and said it was all in fun (or whatever she said) so that really should be the end of it. After all, she's the one that started this whole mess and now you and your girlfriend are arguing over something stupid as a result. Is all of this worth ending your relationship over? Because if you can't just chalk it up to immature silly fun and let it go all you are going to do is push her away.

If you feel "disrespected" then address it once and let it go. Do not dwell on what she may or may not have "lusted after" or your insecurity is going to get old. It seems to be a shame that her friend's thoughtless comment has caused such trouble. Have you ever had issues like this before?
Yes, you are being ridiculously jealous. The only real problem here is that your girlfriend is in her 30's and listens to New Kids on the Block.
[QUOTE=digmusic;3776123]Yes, you are being ridiculously jealous. The only real problem here is that your girlfriend is in her 30's and listens to New Kids on the Block.[/QUOTE]

This could be the real deal-breaker. Seriously, tho, it is all so ridiculous. Look at all the grannies who swoon over Tom Jones. It is part of life, and celebrity and being a fan. Do you think any of these old dears would turf out the old boy for a chance at Tom??





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