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[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;3781784]Well, good luck Rose. I do hope something good comes of it all. But for future reference, yeah, I agree, men don't really care about what we feel or why, so the letter is kind of a waste of time. I think if he does something this early on to hurt your feelings, when he's supposed to be in the courting stage and on his best behavior, it probably isn't worth they energy to type out a letter. Just move on along. Men just want to have fun when they're dating around. They dont' want to think or talk about all this heavy emotional stuff. The minute it gets heavy, they bolt. I'll never forget when my ex told me he loved me and I didn't say it back and he kind of pressured me to say it, "it's nice to hear it back" I said I just wasn't ready to say it but just because I didn't say it yet didn't mean I didn't feel it. But I got the feeling it was fish or cut bait time so I spend a week of soul searching and worrying and wondering, did I beleive he loved me, did I really love him? Was I sure I wanted to say it and not worry about taking it back or hurting him? I had never said those words to any human being before in my life except my mother, so it was a huge, huge deal to me. I finally decided I could say it and mean it and not worry about taking it back so I told him i loved him the next weekend, and he said "Hmmm that's a big step." I said "like you said last week, it's nice to hear it back" and he said he was FOND of me, but that he didn't think he loved me anymore. I said "wait, so you told me last week you wanted to hear it, I didn't want to say it unless I was sure I meant it and now that I"ve said it he took his back?? And he said ":rolleyes: I don't want to start overanalyzing everything..." I was crushed. I went home and cried all the way home and all day the next day.

No matter how wrong they are, no matter how hurt we are, they simply don't want to hear it. It's just a drag to them, it's a complication and men like easy, convenient, fun and uncomplicated. I learned the hard way that if he does something that makes it impossible for you to keep it light and fun, it's best to just move on. I do think three weeks is too short a time to expect honesty and exclusivity. I mean let's be honest, men lie about stuff like that. You just can't expect a man to be honest and to really mean what he says when he lays down all that lovey dovey stuff in the first few weeks and months. It's play acting, men consider it just part of flirting and having fun. They are always genuinely surprised when we take them seriously.[/QUOTE]

Blue - I didn't forget you.....no response yet.

LLM Thanks for your support....I'm sorry your ex acted like that, that is really low......
The strange thing with this guy was.....HE was saying all this stuff to me, talking about the future, I wasn't saying it to him.....he said to me....this may be too early to talk about it, but would you ever consider getting married again? He said that's his goal, and he wants to find someone who will move in with him, get engaged, and eventually get married......how attached are you to this place (my home), would you ever consider moving, I think my kids would really like your dog, I'm resisting using the "L" word, etc. I said WOW you're a serious kinda guy, huh? I didn't want to jump and I didn't want to back off, so that's what I said.....he said yeah I am. I said well I don't need a piece of paper to love someone or be loyal to them, and he agreed. HE brought all this stuff up.....not me! I just wanted clarification when he was telling me I was his girlfriend and then he was going out with his friends that Sat after my birthday.....because I was going out to see my friends band, and if I wasn't someones girlfriend, I may just cozy up to Louie.....knowing it was a bad move anyway, but I didn't want to do anything unethical to hurt another person. It may not have been my smartest move, and I knew it, but I wasn't going to be messing around on "my boyfriend".....that's why I wanted to know.....what's your definition of "your girlfriend", are you "my man".
Why say all that stuff voluntarily if you weren't even pressured to? That's what I don't get. If you don't want to be honest or tell the truth, just don't say ANYTHING......don't tell a LIE.....there's a difference





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