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Well I caught my boyfriend in a lie this past weekend. I sent a picture from my phone to his, and when i checked his inbox in his texts to make sure he got it, he had 2 messages from a girl i have never heard of before. Nothing was said that was harmful/dirty or flirty, but it still bothered me and I confronted him about it. Well he told me that him and his friend who also lives with him in his apartment met 2 other girls who live upstrairs from them and that they drank up at their place only one night. Well, that hurt me enough because he felt the need to keep it from me that he met a couple of his neighbors who were girls, I would not have gotten that angry or would forbid him to do so, and he should know this by now, now that we've been together for 6 months. I told him I would rather him be open and honest with me than hide things, regardless of whether it was harmless or not, because it's just shady to me. I threatened to break up with him because I told him I cannot trust him anymore, and that its causing more worry that I'm with him than if I was not. I don't want to give up on this relationship, so I did not break up with him. He was really really upset, and wanted to know any way he could get me to trust him again. And we talked about it and decided we would try to make this work. well the NEXT day, I found a receipt in his pocket while doing his laundry that was from a different night that was from a beer distributer. Well as far as I knew from him, he had only drank with these girls ONE night. So I confronted him about it, and he said "ok yes we did drink with them 2 nights". So I kinda flipped on him telling him that he is a liar, asking him why he would lie to me, that I cannot be with a liar, and all of this. I asked why he felt the need to lie to me about this, and he told me that when I was about to break up with him, he was afraid to tell me about the other night drinking with them to me because he saw how upset and angry i was, that he was sure I'd leave him. And I told him that I wanted honestly, and he had a chance to come clean, but he still DIDNT, while i was crying about not trusting him right in front of his face! He apologized and everything, and told me he is going to try harder and let me know what he is doing, but I don't know...we're shaky, and I'm so confused as to whether or not I should stay with him...I love him and care for him so much, but still, I don't know:confused:...Please, I need advice on what I need to do. Thank you.
I know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend lied to me about 6 months into our relationship and it nearly destroyed us. Men don't understand the damage that lying can do. And they usually do it for 2 reasons... to keep themselves out of trouble after doing something shady, or they think they are "sparing our feelings" and avoiding a fight. When my boyfriend lied to me, I think it was the latter. What he did was really not that big of a deal, but he knew it would upset me a bit. What he didn't realize that once he got caught lying, it would become a MUCH bigger deal and nearly ruin our relationship.

Anyway, you basically have two choices... let it go and try to move forward (which from experience, is hard, because it will take a while to get that trust back), or just let him go. It all comes down to if you really deep down inside yourself, trust him. In your situation, it seems pretty shady to me that he is hanging out with other girls behind your back. If he is in a relationship with you, why is he going out with 2 other girls, with his guy friend? Couldn't that be considered a double date kind of? You said you didn't really have a problem with it, if he had told you, so maybe that's a difference of opinions between you and I. But if my boyfriend did that, whether he told me or not, I would have an issue with it. It just seems to be crossing the boundaries to me.
But, that's for you to determine. Whether it was all innocent or if there is a need to worry. And only you can decide that.

His lying doesn't HAVE to mean the end of your relationship, but it's certainly not a good start! If you forgive him, you have a tough road ahead of you, and your relationship will have to be strong and a very good one in order to make it through the next few months.

Good luck with whatever decision you make. I chose to forgive my boyfriend, and it's now a year later. We have a great relationship, but I still have trust issues sometimes. The thing with me is that I had trust issues to begin with from my past, so his lying to me just made them even worse. But, we have and are working through them, and our every day life is normal and happy. There are just certain times that trust issues pop up and we have to work on them.





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