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I seem to have a problem with my previous girlfriend. I have been dating her for a couple years. I always thought it was mostly a sex arrangement. She is married and never had made any real moves to leave her husband and isn't going to. I know the relationship isn't/wasn't going anywhere and tried to call it off.

In the meantime an old girlfriend from high school looked me up and we've been talking for a few weeks now. We spend every possible second talking online and I've even went to see her. I never thought I would feel for someone like I do her. It's weird, confusing, and wonderful all at one. I always loved her, but due to being a stupid young man in heat I did not want a "good girl" and instead I ended up stuck with an evil, vile woman who tortured me until I left her.

Me and the new woman have lived parallel lives. Only she didn't have the good time and adventures that I had. Her experiences were a bit more harsh. We have apparently decided that since the man she is with now keeps threatening to leave, we are going to let him. Even his kids from a previous marriage have told her to leave him. And he's their daddy. All of this has been going on long before she found me again.

So, now that I have made promises to a woman who I know is going to choose me and am actively making plans with her for our new life together, my previous girl all of a sudden gets jealous and is now emailing be several times a day and even calling. She never called me before.

She came over yesterday and we had sex, but it was not like before. I did not want to do it. Kissing her was weird. The only way I got through it was by thinking of the new girl. And that made it weirder. Now she wants to go on an out of state trip with me. Usually I am up for something like that right away. But now I don't want to go. I would miss a few hours of talking to the new girl and I'd rather spend two hours talking to her than have a 3 day all expense paid vacation to the mountains with the old one.

But here is the rub. I seriously believe that the old girlfriend is going to kill her self when I break it off. She has told me a thousand times that I am the only reason she lives. I always thought it was just silly girl talk. Her reaction to learning of the new girl makes me think she was serious and will really do it.

I have never in my life dealt with a jealous girlfriend. And I don't know how to get her to end our relationship and still keep living. If she goes through with it when I move in with the new girl, and I will eventually move in with her, then I will feel like I murdered her.

What do I do? It's going to be several months before the new girl can get rid of her husband and us be able to live together full time. And we've both decided against a sexual relationship until then. She doesn't want to be a cheater and that's just fine with me. I had thought I would continue seeing the old girlfriend until my plans with the new girl were actually happening. I mean, realistically I don't know if she will or won't. It's all talk right now. I didn't want to mess up what I had in the first place just in case.

But I don't think I can go through with it. I don't think I can have sex with the old girlfriend any more. I don't feel for her like that any more. But I don't want to hurt her. How do I do that? She tells me that if our sexual relationship ends that is it for her. Her husband has never had sex with her and isn't going to start. She isn't going to look for anyone else, she might as well be dead. How can a man be aroused when he is guilted into sex with someone he is no longer attracted to?

It all makes me feel awful. And there is no one to talk to about it. The old girlfriend treated me like a king. She showered me with gifts, took me places, did anything I wanted and seemed happy to do it. She is smart and great to talk to. I feel like I should feel more for her and want her more than I do. This new girl is from my past. She wants me to work my tail off and support her. She won't be buying me anything or taking me anywhere. She will cost me everything I make and then some. How do I explain that I choose the new girl anyway to the old one? How can I make that make sense to her when even I can't get any kind of grip on it?





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