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Re: Baggage.
Nov 9, 2008
You don't go into detail about exactly what she said that made you think she was "crazy" but generally speaking, I think we should be careful when we bandy that word about. Unless she actually threatened to harm you, I tend to think that 9 times out of 10 a 'psycho' ex girlfriend is just a woman who was treated badly with dishonesty and disrespect and just wants some closure and answers.

That being said, of course you have no right to dictate with whom your new boyfriend's parents stay friends. But your boyfriend can control how much he socializes with her, and he can control how much contact he has with her. I take it he still lives with his parents? Where was he when she was over there? And if he was there with them, why weren't you invited?

If this girl is a family friend, this just may be a situation you will have to live with for a while. But you won't ingratiate yourself with him or his parents by insisting they choose between her and you. She's a family friend, and right now, it would seem you don't really have any choice but to respect that and to be civil and respectful to her. If you're not, then your boyfriend and his parents will know that you two can't be in the same room together, and when it comes time for family functions, she'll be in and you'll be out since they are friends with her parents. I think you need to start fresh. Anything that happened between you two, like I said unless she threatened violence or the like in her texts, let it go, BUT...the next time the two families get together, ask your boyfriend if you are invited, that you would like to get to know his parents better and have a chance for them to know you. Who knows, if she really is as unstable as you say, her seeing you all cuddly cozy with him in front of their parents will make her tip her hand, and maybe his parents won't think she's the sweet nice girl after all. Be calm, be patient, absolutely no more crying or hysterics, but be firm. Make it clear to your boyfriend that you don't wish to make trouble, but he is with YOU now, and his being over there with her and her parents when you are not invited, is inappropriate and unacceptable. He can invite you and make it clear to his parents, and hers, and to her, that he is with YOU now, or he can go back to her. You need to start commanding some respect from your boyfriend, his parents, her parents and her, and you don't command respect by crying, throwing tantrums, whining, begging, pleading, etc. You do it by being fair, reasonable, keeping emotion out of it as much as possible. It's unreasonable for you to come in and insist that his parens stop being friends with her parents just because it makes you uncomfortable. But it IS reasonable for you to be invited to family functions and to be included and to be present as his new girl and to expect that he will not be alone with or around a woman he used to swap body fluids with in situations where you are not invited.

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