It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Hey, guys :wave:

Last night I went on a date. Even though I’ve had a “girlfriend” in the last few months, it’s been a year since I last went on an actual date. So you’d think I’d be happy, right? Alas, I am not. The date was the result of an arrangement by mine and my date’s mothers. I’m twenty-five...

This is problem number one. At the end of the evening I invited the girl in question on a second date, but only because it felt like the right thing to do (I know, I know…). At that point she seemed to move to kiss me, but I don’t see her in that way and I don’t think I ever will. It was slightly awkward.

Problem number two is that during my date (and most other time throughout any given day) my mind was on a girl who’s out of bounds. She has a boyfriend. And she’s my colleague. We’ve been working together for about four months and we have developed a good friendship.

At first I only saw my colleague as a friend because I was still partly involved with my ex-girlfriend and I knew from the start that she has a boyfriend. But we have a lot in common and we get on famously and spend most lunch times together. I have noticed over the past few weeks that she seems to be flirting with me more frequently.

It’s probably just a fun diversion to her – a way to assert herself as the dominant female in the office; consciously or otherwise – but I can’t shake the idea that it might be more than that. Obvious flirting (winding me up, prodding and pushing me, brushing up against me, etc.) is one thing, but the smiles we exchange are something else.

A couple of weeks ago I nearly cracked and I was going to spill my guts to her. I did this last year (with the girl who was my last date; she wasn’t a colleague, though) and it messed things up royally. Fortunately my brain got the better of my heart. But since then the flirting seems to have ramped up a notch or two.

Luckily, I have a few days of work coming up which should give me some head space. Sitting opposite her at work is becoming increasingly difficult. And I don’t mean from a lustful point of view; it’s gone way beyond that for me. Worse still, we have been talking about a night out, possibly just the two of us…

Tonight I resolved once more that I [I]will[/I] tell my colleague how I feel about her. At the moment it seems like a good idea: if I come clean then I will relieve the very tangible pressure in my heart and the children’s shoelace knot in my stomach, but I will make it clear that I don’t want to come between her and her boyfriend. That happened to me with my last serious girlfriend :nono:

So, I haven’t really asked for any specific advice yet, but it boils down to two things. Firstly, how should I play the next date with the girl with whom I was set up? I assume she is interested in me because it was her who asked me out after our mums did the spade work (prior to that we exchanged e-mails).

Secondly, who’s going to shout the loudest at me [I]not[/I] to tell my colleague my feelings towards her? Who’s going to tell me to ride it out and wait until I meet somebody new to take my mind off her? And who will actually convince me enough to put theirs and my own best advice into practice and not just agree with it for show here on the boards? :([/COLOR][/FONT]





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:25 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!