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When you say you have been stringing him along, what exactly have you been doing? Have you been telling him that you guys will date eventually and that you have romantic interest in him, or have you just avoided the topic while knowing that he likes you? Either way, you need to be honest with him as soon as possible. Depending on how forgiving he is, he may or may not want to remain friends with you. Guys really hate being strung along and are sensitive to anything that bruises their egos, which this would do. I understand your plight, as it is very hard to tell someone that you're just not attracted to them, especially if it's someone you know would be a good boyfriend. You have to just tough it out though and let him know. The longer you wait, the less likely it is that he won't feel resentful towards you. Unfortunately, some guys don't even want to be your friend when they realize it's not going to go any further, so be prepared for that possibility.
[QUOTE=digmusic;3794986]When you say you have been stringing him along, what exactly have you been doing? Have you been telling him that you guys will date eventually and that you have romantic interest in him, or have you just avoided the topic while knowing that he likes you? Either way, you need to be honest with him as soon as possible. Depending on how forgiving he is, he may or may not want to remain friends with you. Guys really hate being strung along and are sensitive to anything that bruises their egos, which this would do. I understand your plight, as it is very hard to tell someone that you're just not attracted to them, especially if it's someone you know would be a good boyfriend. You have to just tough it out though and let him know. The longer you wait, the less likely it is that he won't feel resentful towards you. Unfortunately, some guys don't even want to be your friend when they realize it's not going to go any further, so be prepared for that possibility.[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much for the advice digmusic!!
[QUOTE=JohnnyBoateng;3795179][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Hi, [COLOR="Magenta"]confusedchrissy[/COLOR]. It doesn't sound like you've done much wrong to me. You expressed your feelings fairly explicitly early on in this friendship but your friend is clearly an optimist and, like you, he hoped time would bring you together. I don't think it's too late to spell things out more clearly and still keep him as a friend; personally I like to be told exactly where I stand so I can move on if the object of my desires is not interested in me.

What would upset me is if a girl allowed things to go too far (in a physical way) and then turned around and told me that she's not interested. So I recommend that you don't let that happen (and it sounds like you really don't want it to anyway). There is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to be with your friend in a romantic way. But I understand how you feel and I know you almost hate yourself for feeling shallow.

But feeling like that tells you that this guy isn't for you. Maybe you should try talking to him to explain how you feel. I know you said he is sensitive, so approach the situation with sensitivity and be prepared for a setback to your friendship. Just remember: if it was you, you'd want to know so you could move on and stop kidding yourself.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]
Thanks JohnnyBoateng for the advice!! I really do appreciate it. I really did hope time would bring us together! I feel like I have really screwed things up in the meantime though. All this time (5 months) that I have been testing the waters, I have been sending mixed messages. For example when we go out together, I let him hold my hand even though it feels somewhat aqward and when I leave he always walks me to my car and gives me a kiss on the check, even when I haven't kissed him back in the past. The thing is I know he really likes me and I feel if I don't feel any more attracted to him by know I probably never will. Yet, I don't think it's just attraction that that gets in the way, he told me only 4 days after seeing me, that he already missed me and the sad part was, I didn't miss him at all! :( He's invited to my folks house for Thanksgiving and I'm not sure if I should tell him before then. Thanksgiving is only 11 days away!! I just hope I'm not being shallow!!





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