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Hey everyone! I'm 24 and looking for relationship advice. The issue is a guy friend of mine wants me to be his girlfriend.:confused:

First off, I have to stay I am really struggling on what to do about this issue because my friend is the nicest guy and is really great boyfriend material. I met him about 5 months ago. Pretty soon after meeting him, he showed signs of romantic interest. For example, we would take walks around his neighborhood to talk and he would want to hold my hand. This intially really freaked me out because I really didn't have any interest in becoming anything more than friends. I explained to him at this point that I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship, but I think the words "at this time" gave him hope for the future. He said he understood and that he wasn't looking for anything serious either. So I continued to see him as a friend (go to different outings together). Even though I still didn't feel a physical attraction to him, I thought establishing a good friendship would led me to eventually feel more loving feelings for him. Yet, even though I talk to him everyday on the phone and see him almost every weekend, I don't have any stronger feelings about him. For example, I don't miss him and I don't even want to kiss him. I feel horrible because during the past five months that I have been waiting for my feelings to change toward him (become romantically interested), I have been stringing him along. I don't know what to do! On one hand I don't want to end our friendship, but on the other, I don't want to lead him on either. I'm also concerned about addressing this issue with him because he is very sensitive and the last thing I want to do is crush him. I feel like there is something the matter with me for not wanting to be his girlfriend. What complecats the issue even more is that I have gone out on outings with him and his parents and family on several occasions. His family is wonderful! He always tells me how much his parents like me and they always invite me over for dinner.

If anyone has any advice on what I should do or should not do regarding this relationship issue, please reply! I would greatly appreciate it!! Thanks!!:)
[QUOTE=JohnnyBoateng;3795179][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Hi, [COLOR="Magenta"]confusedchrissy[/COLOR]. It doesn't sound like you've done much wrong to me. You expressed your feelings fairly explicitly early on in this friendship but your friend is clearly an optimist and, like you, he hoped time would bring you together. I don't think it's too late to spell things out more clearly and still keep him as a friend; personally I like to be told exactly where I stand so I can move on if the object of my desires is not interested in me.

What would upset me is if a girl allowed things to go too far (in a physical way) and then turned around and told me that she's not interested. So I recommend that you don't let that happen (and it sounds like you really don't want it to anyway). There is nothing wrong with you for not wanting to be with your friend in a romantic way. But I understand how you feel and I know you almost hate yourself for feeling shallow.

But feeling like that tells you that this guy isn't for you. Maybe you should try talking to him to explain how you feel. I know you said he is sensitive, so approach the situation with sensitivity and be prepared for a setback to your friendship. Just remember: if it was you, you'd want to know so you could move on and stop kidding yourself.[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]
Thanks JohnnyBoateng for the advice!! I really do appreciate it. I really did hope time would bring us together! I feel like I have really screwed things up in the meantime though. All this time (5 months) that I have been testing the waters, I have been sending mixed messages. For example when we go out together, I let him hold my hand even though it feels somewhat aqward and when I leave he always walks me to my car and gives me a kiss on the check, even when I haven't kissed him back in the past. The thing is I know he really likes me and I feel if I don't feel any more attracted to him by know I probably never will. Yet, I don't think it's just attraction that that gets in the way, he told me only 4 days after seeing me, that he already missed me and the sad part was, I didn't miss him at all! :( He's invited to my folks house for Thanksgiving and I'm not sure if I should tell him before then. Thanksgiving is only 11 days away!! I just hope I'm not being shallow!!





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