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I need him....
Nov 30, 2008
My boyfriend & I have been together for 4 1/2 years. 2 weeks ago we broke up. He is going through some terrible things with his family. His parents are filing for bankruptcy for the second time in the 4 1/2 years I have known him. The stress of their financial problems has lead his parents to abuse alcohol & prescription drugs. His sister also has a drug & alcohol addiction & is still living at home. 3 months ago he moved out on his own because he couldn't stand what was going on at home, constant yelling, crying, abusing alcohol etc. I thought his moving out (alone, not with me) would help but it's gotten worse. His father won't talk to him because he's decided that my boyfriend walked out on the family during their time of need. His mother was visiting & keeping in contact until about month ago when she told him either he gives them $5000 or she wants nothing to do with him. She harasses him for money through emails & calls. He is not willing to give his family the money for many reasons 1) It will go to support their addictions 2) His mom & sister seem to have enough money to get their hair & nails done every week, they still have things that aren't necessary such as satellite tv etc 3) He feels extremely betrayed. He feels likes he has nobody in the world, the rest of his family are in Europe, they are all he has.

For the past month he has started to spend the majority of his time with work "friends". Since he has started hanging out with them he ditches me, has started smoking pot (which he HATED & never touched before), drinking (also never did this, he hated alcohol) and who knows what else. He is driving while high, which scares me to death. Him & I have certainly never had the perfect relationship, we fight over stupid things on the regular. The fight that lead to our break-up was trivial. He made a stupid joke that I didn't like in the car, I rolled my eyes & he snapped, yelling about all the things I do wrong in our relationship. Sometimes I don't feel respected or appreciated by him, but if I tell him these things it turns into a horrible argument & a break-up.

I love him, I care about him & want to be with him & only him. We talked last night, he was high, which I hate but decided it wasn't the best time to make this an issue. He said he loves me, we both cried. He said he misses me but he knows the arguing will never stop & that he just doesn't think he can deal with it anymore. He said our relationship reminds him of his parents. I don't know where he gets this, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I have never asked him for money or in my opinion given him any reason to feel like I don't care about or love him. I feel like he has given up on us... but I can't give up on him. It is killing me to hear about how high he got or that he was drinking with his buddies. He seriously NEVER did these things. At social gatherings he would have a pop rather then a beer. I have seen him drink maybe 2 beers in 4 1/2 years and never did he smoke pot. Why is he going back on his principles? I just feel like if I lost my family support & had nobody in the world I would do everything I could to hold on to him. I feel like I am the only person in the world that loves him unconditionally, why is he rejecting me & pushing me away?? I know that we can fix this, I know my faults & I want to work on them. How do I get him to understand this? I am going out of mind with concern, anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness etc. I just want my loving, caring boyfriend back.

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