It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index


After he is done with these girls, he always comes back. He'll either start coming around again, this time around back in July he actually apologized for everything he'd done calling himself a huge asshole in the process. This was a big deal from someone who has a tremendous amount of pride. Anyway, I wonder why he continues to come back yet never wants things to be official. [/QUOTE]

This is actually pretty easy. He comes back because he can. Because you're comfortable, familiar, and just there.

[QUOTE=bulalot3;3812230]I told him I still have feelings for him, and he tells me that he can only see me as a friend. [/QUOTE]

Ok, so my question to you is....why aren't you listening to him? He's telling you the truth. It's no one's fault but yours if you choose not to believe him when he's telling you who he is and what he wants, just because it's not what you want to hear.

[QUOTE=bulalot3;3812230]And he wants me to go out, have the time of my life and date other guys. [/QUOTE]

C'mon, I don't mean to be harsh, but look at this, and try to wrap your mind around it. What man would say this to a woman he loved, had real feelings for, and wanted for his own? See my edit below regarding this, please.

[QUOTE=bulalot3;3812230] But then.....he makes moves to kiss me and hook up. Oh and one other thing, I am a virgin. After all this time together, he doesn't want to "take my virginity". We've done everything but that.

It could be that this guy has some kind of weird Madonna/whore complex, but I think the simpler answer is, he's just no that into you.

I dated someone who refused to take my virginity too, although he had no problem having sex with his college girlfriend before me. He said he just didn't take his religion as seriously back then as he did now, he wanted to wait till marriage, couldn't possibly see himself living with someone outside of holy wedlock, couldn't possibly sleep with a woman who was using any kind of birth control at all or had altered her body in any way to stop from having kids, etc. Five minutes after he broke up with me he shacked up with a fresh out of court divorcee with three kids and tied tubes. It was pretty clear to me then that he didn't have anything against premarital sex, just premarital sex [I]with me[/I], that he didn't have any religious thing against living with someone outside holy wedlock, just living outside of wedlock [I]with me[/I]. He knew, I think probably from our first date, that he didn't see me as relationship material. I was a cute, convenient, transitional close by piece of tail that he used, for two years, and he could allow himself to feel like a nice guy because he didn't sleep with me, so he could convince himself he didn't use me as badly as he could have. Oh, and by the way, we had rocky times and he told me a few times that he wished I had dated 10 different men before him, because I guess he felt my inexperience with men led me to make some basic and silly, but I think pretty typical, relatioship mistakes. Then, when "I wish you had dated more men" changed to "I wish you would date other men" I didn't listen. I didn't understand, didn't want to understand, that he was really telling me it was over and wanted me to move on so he didn't have to break my heart and deal with the mess of having to dump me outright.

My point is, this...all you need to know is that he's just not that into you. Really, I promise you, that's all you need to know. You don't need to know WHY he says this, does that, blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. If he wanted you, really loved you, really wanted to be with you in any real way, he would be, it's really just that simple. Cut him loose and go find a nice guy who wants to date you, and only you, who doesn't want to keep you around just as a friend with benefits, a nice guy who won't string you along for 4 long years.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:06 PM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!