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Relationship Health Message Board

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Yes, you do have a reason for venting...

Have your boy-friend and you ever talked about having kids of your own?

I can understand his affection for this child (it is quite easy to become and remain fond of a four-year-old girl), but this is beginning to look like an obsession, right? Does he easily get obsessional about other things? If so, that is a trait of his. Or maybe he is feeling guilty for not being there for her, since he thinks she is poorly taken care of.

But I see your point, and I agree that he'd better move on now.

Actually, I think that is bound to happen at any rate, sooner or later, because as the little girl grows and gets to know other different people, the connection will become weaker. All you would need is some patience, in principle.

But I see that you are also concerned about the ex. Well, if you trust your boy-friend in terms of fidelity and if the ex is already with another guy, I should think the chances of infidelity are negligible.

Getting involved with the small girl, as proposed by the other poster, is a good idea, but you don't know if she will welcome you. Besides, you would meet her for the first time with a lot of prejudice of your own. Could you put all your prejudice aside and see the kid as a kid and nothing more?

Try this out (be introduced to the girl) and see how it goes for you. Don't despair. Don't break up yet. You have no concrete reasons for doing so. Go and meet the girl and try to have some fun together. You may be surprised to find that she was just a molehill rather than a mountain, if you see what I mean.

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