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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

You've got a plan, so stick to it. The only thing I would advice is, if you are having sex with this other guy, stop it right now until you both are free. If your love is that true and that strong, it will survive a few shrto months of celibacy. Plus, if either of your spouses found out about it now, it could really hurt you in the divorce settlements, especially if you don't live in a no fault state.

Love dies, or love was never really there in the first place, and people marry the wrong person every single day. Most marriages fail. No biggy on that score as far as I'm concerned. I think marriage is a dead, antiquated institution that grows more and more useless everyday anyway. I know your spouses will be hurt, and I know you don't want to think about that, but that's part of taking the risk of loving someone. The risk that one day they will turn and walk away. It happens all the time. It's their job to get over it somehow. But you need to be as above board and as honorable as you can. That's why you need to stop the physical aspect of the affair until you are really free to be together. I could name right off the top of my head at least half a dozen couples of famous people you would know, who were all married to other people when they fell in love with each other. They ended their marriages and are all now very very happy, "stupid happy" one of them said a few months back in an interview. Far, far more happy than any of them ever would have been trying to do "the right thing" and stay in bad, unhappy marriages for the kids or to save face or keep from hurting someone they no longer loved. If you're not happy with your spouse, you're not doing him or her any favors by staying with them and resenting them and wishing you could be anywhere but with them. Them knowing just how long you felt that way instead of being honest and getting out when you first wanted to is what hurts the most, trust me.
Being married shouldn't be the goal here. It's becoming the person one wants to be.
If a guy wants to marry you so you don't meet someone better. That's not a good reason to marry. For you or him.

As you meet more people. You may not feel the same about your new guy. Your relationship hasn't been an out in the open, honest one. That's about to change.

As for the women in a rush to settle. some are single. One married and is getting a divorce.

My daughter is 14 yrs. old and Autistic. She's not quite high functioning due to having PDD of the spectrum.

Meeting and starting a relationship while being the parent of an Autistic child was easy (I don't think the general population really understand Autism yet).
Getting a significant other to commit the the "package" is another story. It's not for everyone.
His children might not be able to handle it.

On the East Coast. An older, attractive woman has many options. The MILF label is the thing nowadays.
Time to tell the new BF to get some more confidence and better self esteem. Your about to break out.

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