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Hi everyone...thank you so much for all your responses...i really have a lot to think about.

The reason I don't want to get to into too much detail is because I don't know who reads these posts and what not...and the subject of children is very sensitive.

I do not know how to quote certain aspects of your posts, but I will do the best I can to answer some of the questions you did have.

The counselor is the one who reported this to DSS. She was obligated to do so after she heard what had happened, and the severity of the accusations.

My nephew DID in fact try to hide what was done, and he threatened my daughter with harm if she told anyone. He lied to me, even though at one point he was caught "in the act." Had this been normal childhood "curiosity" it would not be that much of an issue. Yes, I understand that kids will be kids and things can sometimes get out of control in this aspect...but then again I believe someone had said "Where did he learn this type of behavior?"

When I did speak to him about what was going on I tried to keep a level tone, and tell him I was not angry at him, but more so at the situation. I did not think yelling or threatening him would be of any good. I know for a fact I did not yell, but I can't actually say if he could tell how angry I really was.

A little background on my nephew...he was adopted at around 1 1/2. His birth parents both had drug, alcohol and mental illness issues (bi-polar and Schizo-affective disorder.) My nephew is currently on medication to combat ADHD type symptoms and another med that is typically used in those with SA or BP (can't remember the name right now). He has been hospitalized 2 times for extreme behavior issues, but NEVER for sexual issues. When he was much younger he would masturbate to the point of leaving bloody sores on his penis. He has a regular psychiatrist and counselor that he goes to...as well as in-home counseling. Let me reiterate his issues have been strictly with aggressive type behaviors NEVER sexual in nature.

Some things happened when they were outside playing, it was not a lack of supervision. Sometimes it is not always possible to be within eyesight of the children. Upon the detective being assigned to the case some other issues came out that another cousin had witnessed...oral in nature...the other cousin was threatened not to tell as well.

I do not believe I over-reacted to what occurred...and no I don't want my nephew to be labeled as a pervert or molester, but if this was not a "one" time thing for him, then he needs to get help. Even at such a young age. He does have an 8 year old sister in the house, which concerns me. I have been told that within the last 6 or so months she has become VERY withdrawn. With my not being in the same state any longer, I can only go on what I have been told about her. This could be caused by anything...not my nephew.

Hopefully I have shed some light on the issue to help with some of the questions and details you were unsure of. If I forgot anything please let me know.

Angela
Well...we went to my dd counselor today...I spoke to her alone before my dd went in...I didn't want to bring up too much in front of her...I don't want her to get upset for anything that may (or may not) happen with my nephew...

The counselor told me that usually in a case like this...as soon as the state he lives in begins their own investigation into the allegations...which they will...he will be sent for a psycho-sexual evaluation. It is like a psychological eval except it is based on sexual aspect of things. She said at times the kids (or adults) are hooked up to some kind of body monitoring system just to see what kind of responses happen internally during the test. She also told me he will most likely be referred to a counselor that specializes in children with sexual urges and has acted upon them in a negative manner...as my nephew did. He will also be referred to group counseling with other boys his age in the same predicament.

The only barrier to this right now is my brother's denial that his son did anything. The counselor told me if the authorities in their state need to get a court order for the testing they will...and with my nephew already having been in the system for his past hospitalizations it should not be a problem...if they have to go that route.

I am disappointed that my brother is taking such a lackadaisical stand on this issue...he needs to get help for my nephew. I understand that my brother probably does not want to look at his son as something other than a kid...but what happens when it gets worse...because eventually it will...especially now that my nephew knows it doesn't matter what he does his dad will believe him...it is as if he is being enabled to act out any urges he may have...hopefully his sister (my niece) is safe from any harm.

I have not spoken to the detective...so I am still unsure what is going on in that realm. I am going to call him Friday if I don't hear from him before that time.

Thanks again everyone for your input...it really means a lot to me to know that I am not doing the wrong thing...but really NOTHING would stop me from protecting my daughter...she is what matters here...not my brother or my nephew.

Angela





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