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This is a really tricky situation, and I feel like there's no right or wrong answer. He obviously loves you and wants to be with you, but at the same time, he clearly wants this girl too and doesn't want to give her up either. I have a feeling that even if he does give her up right now, that he'll go back to her eventually. Maybe if you two hit a rough spot, have a fight, etc. I just don't see him ending things with her and it staying that way if he really does like her as much as he does. I know it sounds bad, but I agree with the other posters who say that you may just have to let him date her. He needs to find out for himself if they have something together or not. And if they do, you shouldn't be together anyway. If they don't figure this out now, they will figure it out eventually. Who knows, maybe she and your bf aren't good for each other. Maybe once they got to know each other better they would realize there really is nothing there. But either way, do you really want the "what ifs" hanging over your head for the rest of your relationship?

I have a bit of experience with this situation as I am/was a guys "what if" girl. He had been dating a girl for a few years, and he and I were always friends. He wanted to date me years ago and I declined so we cut off contact for a bit. He got back together with this girl but always kept coming back to me when things weren't perfect with her. I didn't know it at the time, but he ended up breaking up with her for me. I thought he just broke up with her because he was done with her and it wasn't working. I didn't realize until I got a message from her that he did it because of me. We didn't even live in the same state, so our entire contact was phone/internet and he really wanted me to go visit him. That never worked out, and I ended up cutting off contact again for a while because I knew he wasn't over his ex. He ended up wanting her back, but it was too late. So, my point is, the "what if" girl doesn't always go away in the guy's mind. She will most likely always be there until he figures it out for himself. Even though the guy I'm talking about loved his gf, he always wondered about me, and he still does. He could never make up his mind, and part of it was because he never got the opportunity to date me, so he always wondered what it would be like.

Anyway, sorry for the long reply, but I hope it helps a bit!

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