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I wrote before about my boyfriend of 5 years. We broke up for a couple weeks, he took a girl from work on a date. Now he says he wants to work things out with me.

Two nights ago he had me in tears with the things he was saying (good tears). He told me that he loves me more then anyone in the world, he wants me to move in with him etc.

Tonight he is cold & distant. He doesn't feel like hanging out with me. He is talking in his "mad voice". Returns my calls hours later. We ended last night on a good note. What gives?

THEN... after the above, on the SAME day. He calls, is being sweet & funny. Wants to pick me up after work.

It almost feels like he is playing different sides. He got a taste of single life, dating etc. and he liked it. HOWEVER, he doesn't want me to leave. I have been a stable part of his life for 5 years. When things are good with us, they are really good. He knows that I will be there when he needs me. He knows that I always put him first.

He STILL hasn't told the girl from work that him & I are back together. He says that it was only 1 date, he can't "break up" with her because they were never together & that doing so would make him uncomfortable. He says he rarely sees her & is never in her department. Today he tells me how her friend (another co-worker) gave him a hug today & said she needed to talk to him later on. My guess is it's about the girl he went out with. If I bring her up he gets mad. I have stopped asking questions about work.

I don't know if I can do this. I feel like he wants me to stick around & keep things open with her. He likes that she likes him. He likes the attention. He likes her. He doesn't want to loose me.

I don't want to play games. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think of just being the perfect girlfriend. Be available when he needs me, pretend like this doesn't bother me, go out of my way to do things for him. Then I think if I do this, make myself so available he will walk all over me. He holds the power. A friend told me to do the exact opposite. Make myself less available, show him that he WILL lose me if things continue like this.

He is hot one moment & cold the next. I feel like I am dealing with dual personalities. I don't think he knows what he wants. I am used to being the one "chased" in our relationship, now I just feel powerless.

Do I chase him? Do I back off?

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