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We made plans for tonight. He came over & then told me while on his way over he made other plans with his friends for later on. Basically he wanted to come by for an hour or two & then leave to be with friends. This is not ok. I told him this. He started going on about how I am controlling. I never said he couldn't hang out with his friends, I ENCOURAGE him to do so but not when he has plans with me.

I also asked him about work & more specifically "her". He talked to her again today. I brought up his promise to stop talking to her & to tell her about me & him. He again said that it was only 1 date how is he supposed to break up with her etc. We talked for awhile. I told him that it feels like he is leaving a window open with her "just in case". He adamantly denied this. Later on he admitted that it was true. He has doubts about us. He thinks about the what ifs with her etc. He has only ever been in a relationship with me, what if the grass is greener on the other side. He has only ever been with 1 other girl besides me sexually, he sometimes wonders what other girls are like.

I told him that I can't do this anymore. If he has doubts we can't be together. I can't live like this, not knowing, not trusting, insecurities, the hot & cold. He tells me again that he DOES want to be with me. He will talk to her on Monday. I heard this last week. It never happened. I can't let him walk all over me. I can't. It sucks.

I told him this needs to end. He tells me he is stuck. He wants to be with me, doesn't want to loose me but wants to explore other people, another life. I told him to go. That this is over. That it isn't fair for me to be with someone with all these doubts. I told him it's not right for him either. If you aren't sure, do something about it. He asked me to "wait for him". I told him no. He asked to be my friend. I told him no. I don't want to hear about what he is doing with other girls. It hurts too much. He then tells me that he doesn't want to break up. He will talk to her Monday, he will do "what I want". I can't. The doubts are there. They aren't going to disappear unless he explores them. His doubts are causing doubts in me too. I hate this hot & cold stuff. One minute everything is perfect, the next he is distant and even mean. I can't do it.

He left. He calls me on his way home asks me to go to lunch tomorrow & talk about it. I asked if I could get back to him on his offer, after I let the emotions subside. He said no. I have to answer him NOW. Even after he screwed with me, one minute he wants me the next he doesn't, I have to choose on the spot. I chose. I said no. Now in his mind it is me giving up on us. He made the last effort. I declined. It is how he works. If he is the "victim" he can move on better.

Thats it. IT'S OVER. I feel like I made a horrible mistake. He has someone lined up, an active social life to keep him busy. I have nothing. The person I love has doubts about us. The person I love will in a matter of time be hanging out with & having a relationship with someone else.

What do I do now??? Do I call him on Christmas? Do I jump & answer the phone if he calls? Do I call him? Ever? Do I wait around for a few months & then call him? Do I hold on to hope? Do I move on?

I have given up most of my friendships for him. He didn't like my friends. Even said horrible things about them to other people which got back to them. I pretty much have one friend left after our 5 year relationship. She has a great boyfriend, other friends, a job, a life. I have nothing right now. I want to date other people. I feel like if I sit around missing him that I am torturing myself. Where does a friendless girl go to meet guys? How do I even start dating again? I feel like this is something I need to do, I just don't know how to do it.

I love him. Did I do the right thing letting him go? What if he comes back? How do I take him back? It was hard knowing he kissed another girl, what is it going to be like in a few months when it's more then a peck on the cheek?

Please help! I feel so lost!

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