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I appreciate those of you who sided with me on this. I wasn't expecting that at all. However, I have to agree with the posters who said it was MY problem... because it really is. Let me clarify a few things.


In the early weeks of our relationship, she would freely drop sexual details about her past and I didn't really care. Then one day, as if by magic, I did care. As this became more apparent, the talk of her past turned into a major issue with us. Eventually we sat down and discussed it. She agreed to stop because of how it made me feel. Since then, with only a few minor slip ups, she has been very good about it.

The male friend who wanted to have dinner was indeed just that, a friend. He was someone she was close to in high school and that she hadn't seen in awhile. I shouldn't be jealous or insecure. They never dated or anything. Why shouldn't she be able to hang out with him??

The Victorias Secret comment was perhaps ill-advised, but I highly doubt it was a purposeful stab at me. Like I said, she has been incredible about keeping those things to herself for some time now. On occasion, like in this instance, it does slip out. This is the first one in a long time and it wasn't even any overt detail. Still I took it for all it was worth and had a meltdown anyways. Overreaction.

As for her de-virginizer, it was totally his fault for mentioning their past so much. She did nothing to egg him on and was in fact horrified that he brought it up. She has since talked to him and let him know he was out of line.

Regardless, we must take part of the blame for that one. It was a dumb idea for my girlfriend and I to think that this meeting would be okay. I don't believe there is any guy out there who actually wants to meet the dude who took their girlfriend's virginity. In fact I don't want to meet any previous partners. Bad call on my girlfriends part for thinking it would be okay, bad call on me for going along with it. Agreed?

My conclusion is this:

I have a low threshold on what makes me jealous and insecure. I need to work on that. Right now I'm a bit extreme and she is starting to tire of it. I do believe it is okay to be guarded about other guys and not really want to hear about past sexual exploits..... but within reason. I should be able to hear general non-sexual details about her history without caring. I should also be able to trust her with plutonic male friends, to a certain point.

I just want to be cool and moderate; have a healthy dose of jealousy to show I care but not strangle her with it.

Perhaps the best advice is this: "YOU ALREDY KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SO JUST DO IT!!!" ... followed by a smack in the face.

What do you think??





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