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Relationship Health Message Board

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I kind of think this is why people date other people who are kind of their "equal" as far as looks. You look at 'most' couples, and you will rarely find a so-called "10" with a "2". Your relationship in general, Lazer, shows why. Your beautiful girlfriend wouldn't be with you if she judged you for your "ugliness" as you refer to it. But you cannot get past the fact that she is beautiful and it adds to your extreme insecurity. Yet you probably wouldn't feel this way if you dated someone who was more on par with you as far as looks, yet you would both likely find each other attractive. You just either have to learn to deal with it or realize that you can't handle being in a relationship with this girl. Or, channel your insecurity into bettering yourself, because I know I"m a believer that no one is truly ugly, there are many things you can do to make yourself more attractive inside and out. Think about the things you dont' like about yourself and how you can improve them.
Here's a different view of her relationships with her friends,exes and her past actions towards sex.

Maybe the only way she knew a relationship should be was about sex, talking about sex, bragging about sex.
Then came you. She is with you because your different than the guys she knows.
Remember, it's a learning process. She is young.

Stop with the jealous and controlling nonsense. You think any other woman doesn't have guys come on to them?
See i USED to be controlling, and i very rarely get mad at her anymore. In fact, it happened yesterday, and pretty badly. It was one of those situations where this isnt a single thing i can do except bite my tongue and forget about it.

When we are out in public, its a lot easier for me to just put my arm around her, kiss her, etc, to get the guys to back off. But she said so i dont feel like she is hiding anything, she can let me know when someone comes on to her and how she handles it. And we work together, so i've seen her in action plenty of times. She does it very well, if its not bad she politely ignores it and acts uninterested, but if it begins to get bad she will basically walk away, or if she HAS to be there (for example work), then she talks about her boyfriend all the time and how great things are with us.

And Realguy, you're completely right. Thats how her mentality used to be, and i was with her through it at first. You're completely right, and she told me many times thats the case. But its difficult trying to feel special, when the only thing i heard was stuff she has done with other guys, and etc. But im on the way to recovering, slowly but surely. When guys come on to her it doesnt bother me nearly as much (i used to be awful), im not controlling, neither is she, we dont say things to hurt each other anymore. Its a million times better, and it only keeps getting better.

But whats weird is that a long time ago, when i had past relationships (which were very short, not serious at all, and i was ultimately used in one way or another), i never cared when guys came on to them. At all. But i know i actually care about her this time (every other time i was in the relationship because i needed to feel normal during high school). Let alone, early on in THIS relationship, i didnt care when guys came on to her either. But i think it was the rough start to the relationship that brought on this problem.

You guys think i can heal it completely? I've come a super long way so far.

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