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[I]Tivo123, thanks for the reply. That makes a lot of sense. Before he met me, my boyfriend had been single (by choice) for five years. He hadn't really dated anyone since high school and even then, it was only a brief, unserious thing lasting a few months, if that. I'm the first "serious" girlfriend he's had, the first one he's brought home to meet the family, and he pretty much devotes himself to me, spends his time with me (especially since his family is 2 hours away and my family treats him far better than his own family ever thought about doing), and does everything in life with the intention of making a better future for he and I.

While I understand Insightpls point, that maybe you can't understand somethings just because you are a mother, my mother has a son and she has never treated any of his girlfriends like my boyfriend's mother treats me. My mother may not always 100% approve of the girls my brother chooses to date, but she treats them with respect nonetheless and makes them feel welcome in her home. That's all I'm asking for in this situation, but I'm certain I'll never get it.

My boyfriend gets a little irritated with me sometimes because I seem to let it bother me so much, but what he doesn't understand is that I'm not thinking about here and now. I'm stressing about what she will be like in the future too. I'm having visions of getting married and not wanting her there AT ALL, sitting in the front row cringing as I walk down the aisle, criticizing everything about my choices for the wedding, etc. I want my wedding day to be beautiful, fun, exciting, and the thought of her being there just makes me sick. If any children ever came along too, I wouldn't want them to spend time with her. She's got so many quirks that I wouldn't want rubbing off on my children and she has a child rearing philosophy I do not agree with. However, I can't not invite her to my wedding, if my boyfriend and I indeed tie the knot one day, and I can't keep her from ever seeing her grandchildren. She is a complete monster about most things, but I would feel guilty and like I wasn't doing the right thing if I behaved like that. But trust me, it goes through my mind all the time.

I forgot to put this in my first post here, but one other thing she did that puzzles me is this: when my boyfriend moved two hours away to be closer to me, his parents drove down and brought some of his furniture from home to put in his new house. I deliberately tried to steer clear of his mother (meaning I acted like I was busy unloading things from my boyfriend's car while she, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's dad moved the furniture inside). She asked my boyfriend where I was or if I was coming in the house because she wanted to tell me hello. Then, she said, "I guess I better get to know her if she is going to be my new daughter-in-law one day." Why would she even say that if she didn't really mean that she was going to try to be civil and get to know me? To appease my boyfriend? To make her own conscience feel better? The woman makes no sense. The mother-in-law is an enigma I will never understand! [/I]





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