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Relationship Health Message Board

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I just wanted to add, I was thinking about why your MIL may have acted the way she did about the party invitation.

She would probably like "him" to invite her to his party. This is probably why she repsonded to him, and didn't go. Although, I think she should have shown up anyway, she's sending her son a message, she's hurt he didn't take the time to contact her and invite her. Remember, she misses him and doesn't get to see him or talk with him much. While this may seem petty, it probably doesn't seem so to her.

You should invite her to YOUR birthday party. Invite her to things you're doing. Invite her on a shopping trip, or call her for advice about girl stuff or cooking. Act like a daughter to her, like you do your mom, and see if that will work, instead of acting like you speak for her son. If it's for her son, let him do it. She wants to hear from him, and you won't have to be put in the middle. It's possible she thought he would come and visit for his birthday or something. Let them work that out between them, what he's doing for his birthday. She still wants a relationship with him.

Again, don't let her behavior get to you, but I don't think it's wise to get into a power struggle with her either, like ordering your boyfriend to tell her to respond to you. And if all efforts fail, again just be civil and don't worry about it.

My MIL broke my husband and I up for a couple of years. Long story short, she expected him to do everything for her and his younger brother. When we broke up, she called me to rub it in and actually taunted me with "you knew how he was". To which I responded, "no, I have no idea what you mean". She was trying to comment that I knew he was a womanizer, when he had never even looked at other girls while we were togther, and had just told me he wanted to see me walk down the ilse in a white dress. I broke up with him anyway because he wouldn't move an hour away from HER, because she begged him not to, to be with me while I finished grad school. I had promised him we would move back when I finished. I later learned she told him that if he moved for me, I would probably just break up with him anyway. I had fun rubbing the white dress comment in her face, and we eventually got back together. But you see my point. She was a true monster in law. Be glad your MIL is independent.

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