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Hi. I read your post, and it sounded so much like me years ago, I just had to add my 2 cents. I've been through about 15 years of mother in law BS, plus parent BS, only to figure out I'm in an unhappy marriage and none of the loads of mother-in-law worry was ever worth it.

The first thing I see from your post...... a mom would be worried out of her mind about her son in a car accident. 25 is very young. I know you don't think so now, but wait until you're 34 and have a son of your own. You'll know what I'm talking about. She was probably worried sick, and almost any mother wouldn't worry about making nice with a girl she had never met, probably had not even heard about upon learning her son was badly injured in a wreck. So much goes through a mom's head. We gave them that body, we don't want them to mess it up. Second, we think deeper than everyone else, we're mothers. We carry a deeper burden and a deeper love. I would be worried about the pain and suffering my baby (yes at 25 he would still be my baby) had to endure. A broken collar bone? As a mom that would kill me.

Next thing, when you went to visit 2 hours away to their home, and your boyfriend was still recovering from a broken collar bone, there could be a lot more to it. Maybe your boyfriend has been depressed and crying to his mom. If he has been, she's carrying that weight heavier than anyone. Mother's do that.

And, is he telling her he's serious with you? Maybe she's seen a bunch of girlfriends come and go in his life so far. It's possible she doesn't want to warm up to you until you're acutally marrying her son.

Of course it could be that her son moved 2 hours away, then got hurt, and she doesn't like that. Maybe she wants him back home, where she thinks he belongs, and if he stays with you that won't happen.

I know his mom makes your blood boil, but until you've walked in a mom's shoes, you will never understand a mom. I never could stand my mother- in- law. And then one day....I had a son. She was never very nice to me. I know I'll make a much better effort for my son's girlfriends when I get the chance. But looking at your situation...this is what I would think.

When my son does get a very serious girlfriend he wants to marry, I want to make sure I'm very nice to her. I'd like her to be the daughter I never had, even. But I want her to be that with my son, in the same town where I live, not 2 hours away.

And last, if his mom doesn't like you, you need to just let it go, never let it bother you. Just be friendly and forget it. When you get older like me, and you're tired of HER son, and your marriage is losing it's spunk, you'll wonder why she ever upset you in the first place because it was never worth it.

With mother in laws, it's never about you. It's always going to be about something with her relationship with her son. And it's probably always deeper than what you think. Cut her some slack, and just worry about the 2 of you. If she never warms up to you, you're just need to let it go. Life is too short. She could be that type who will never feel she can truely share her son with anyone, and it's NOT YOU.

I know when the day comes I will have a difficult time with it. I tucked him in every night all of his life. I talked with him every day and was his favorite person in the world. He hangs on my every word. He's so adorable the way he looks up to me. He's so sweet the way he said his first words. He acts like my little protector. Whatever will I do when he grows up and moves out and I don't get to see him very much? Will it be easy for me to warm up to his wife? I think it will be difficult but I plan to make the effort. However, I'm not sure I would do it until marriage. And then....I would probably never do it for someone living so far away....with my little son I raised all of his life and wouldn't get to see. I'll miss him dearly when he moves out. I can only hope he will live near me.

Maybe the above paragraph will help you to see the other side of things.





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