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Relationship Health Message Board


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I completely agree with Tivo123. My own mother and grandmother would NEVER treat their sons girlfriends/wives that way. They would make them feel welcome and apart of the family. There is NO excuse to treat you this way, whether it be because of a car accident or WHATEVER. This woman needs help, and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way. And yes most likely her animosity isn't directly about you but stemming from other problems she has.

My MIL doesn't treat me that way. I was living in her house for a while in the beginning of my boyfriends and I relationship, and she wasn't that nice to me to be honest. But I completely understand why. Since I haven't lived with her in the past 2 years she totally treats me like family, like i'm one of her own kids.

I'm pregnant right now and my MIL is so excited to become a first time grandparent. She is already totally spoiling her grandchild before she is even born. So, how do you think your boyfriends mother would treat you if you were pregnant with her sons baby? Because to be honest if she doesn't give you that support that pregnant women need then it is really going to put a huge strain on your relationship with her, more than it is now.

IMO there is nothing you can do about her. I would feel the exact same way as you do. If you care about your boyfriend enough to keep putting up with his mothers horrible treatment then I would just keep killing her with kindness. But looking ahead in the future it is going to put a drain on you eventually. Either you break down to her in person and tell her everything you've said on here (almost everything lol) and see what she says (probably nothing satisfying) so at least you know you really tried on your end to make the relationship better. OR you let things go as they are and end up having a hell of a lot more resentment then you do already for her and that will wear on you big time. After writing this paragraph I started thinking either way if you talk to her or not about her behavior you'll probably still having resentment toward you because she is such a rude woman. BUT if I were you I couldn't stay with this man because all I would be thinking about is the future and how she would most likely try to sabotage it. It's so nice having a caring and nice MIL... that to live with an unhappy, rude MIL really sucks.

On a side note - If she was at all "normal" she would have responded to your email invitation to her sons bday party. Any mother would want to feel welcomed or included by there childs girlfriend/boyfriend. She shouldn't feel like, "oh well I wish my son would of invited me instead of his gf." That's not normal if she was thinking that.

My MIL was happy I invited her personally to my baby shower. Of course I was going to invite her but my boyfriends Aunts are already throwing me another baby shower after the baby is born so I didn't have to invite her, but I wanted her there.

Anyways I hope I helped in some way...





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