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Re: Online dating
Jan 15, 2009
Yeah, the guy last year wasn't really a frog ... just didn't feel he was good for a long term relationship. Oh, well.

The couple dates this summer - yeah, they asked for what they wanted! When they want a kiss right away, want to put their hands on you while talking to you - I'm not in to one night stands. I contantly felt like I needed to keep moving away!

I find it really weird to have to date at my age, after being married forever! The rules have changed. It was more like sitting down to lunch with a friend from work or something - I'm a very social person so I can converse easily with anyone, but it felt like interviewing for a job or something!

It was nice with my now-boyfriend. Not like love-at-first-sight or anything, but pleasant. He made absolutely NO moves on me, we just talked about our families, our lives, things we found we had in common. Decided we wanted to continue the "date" so we just decided where to move on to from there. He was a gentleman the entire time, never made any moves. Simply asked for a kiss at the end of the date. I was very impressed with his intelligence, our backgrounds being similar, his demeanor.

It was scary in some ways for me to put myself out there. But like I said, I'm a very social person and can talk with anyone about anything. The hardest for me is to tell them I don't want to see them again, to turn them down without feeling like I'm insulting them or something. But I have to be true to me! :p
Re: Online dating
Jan 17, 2009
Great advice from you all, thanks so much!

Larry - yes, my friend said after we meet, he can chase if he is interested but to get things going I do need to participate. So thanks :) I could always message him about details online and give him my number...

spirithawk - great to hear a second story on successful dating after meeting someone online. So you did meet quite a few men then before you met your current boyfriend?

I've been doing some research on him online. Found videos online of him from 2007. He looks much younger. He is 31. I am 24. In some pictures he looks young and really hot. In others he looks slightly different.
Then I came across a website he has and it mentions a song he is making up and mentioned something (i don't know whether it is in the song or not, whether it is true or not) about him spending christmas alone and being dumped on boxing day but things feeling ok on new year's day (which was the day he messaged me - not saying because he messaged me but an observation I've made which I think totally unrelated don't worry I am not that big headed haha).

Would it be rude of me to ask for more pictures? Or may be ask him to add me on the social networking site that we're both on? Just to have a closer look at more pics, his friends, basically his life...
Re: Online dating
Jan 18, 2009
I met 3 or 4 others. One was a guy I dated for almost a year and it was not a pleasant breakup - but on that note I had a guy that I went to high school with that I dated and that relationship was horrible so don't judge an online dating experience by that!

Another one became a very close friend of mine. We lived in the same community and just had never met. I even knew his sister. We went on a few casual dates and he even asked me to go steady but it just didn't feel right. He felt more like a big brother than a boyfriend. We are still good friends now though and I have online dating to thank for that.

Another guy I met traveled a lot and was in the process of transferring from the Air Force to civilian life after two terms of duty. We met and had lunch. He drove out an hour and a half to come meet me. Again things didn't feel right. He wanted to meet more but our schedules didn't allow it and we just keep in touch via text from time to time. I don't think he was the right one for me and I knew it right away when I met him. We had a lot of common interests and all that and our conversations were great but there was something missing.

I was supposed to meet some other guys that I was talking to but I wound up meeting the guy I am with now and decided not to meet the other guys because we didn't even click online so I had a feeling we wouldn't click in person either.

I had almost given up when I found Jason on a silly little meet me thing on Jason did not look anything like he did in his pictures when I met him in person. I was so glad I didn't reject him just because of his picture (which I'm ashamed to say I almost did.) His picture was from high school when he played football and was at least 50 lbs heavier and I was looking for someone fit and his picture didn't look like he was fit. I hadn't been very picky before and wound up with men who weren't really compatible with me. This time I was determined to be picky and by chance I wound up finding one of the sweetest guys in the world! ( I may be a bit biased on that lol but he is a really great guy). To this day I still don't know what made me click on his picture because he didn't look like a guy I would be interested in and his profile wasn't very detailed. He and I had both been through some rough relationships and both of us had been on the online dating scene for a while and hadn't found anything worthwhile. When we talked online he sounded like a really nice guy and I figured if anything, I would get a friendship out of it. I was straight forward with him about our meeting. I told him that some friends and I were going to the beach on Friday and he was welcome to come meet us there but he wound up working late but at the same time I had told him about the karaoke bar I went to and told him what time I would be there. He had given me his number about a week before but I had never called him. It was easier for us to talk online and I was still nervous because I had never decided to meet a guy online after only a couple of weeks of talking to him. I gave him my number so that if he got lost he could call me. The next night I wasn't sure if he was coming because I knew he had to work and sometimes he had to work late. He called me when he got closer and we set up a place to meet and I was on the phone with him directing him when he showed up. We said hello and talked for a little while before heading out to the bar.

I would heed the others advice and call him before you ask for any more pictures. There have been times that a guy sounded interesting online but when I called him things didn't seem right. Use your instincts when it comes to that. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! You aren't obligated to continue with him and there are plenty of other fish in the sea. That said, however, be careful that you aren't rejecting him just because you are nervous. Blocking the number can be a good idea because then it is your choice as to whether or not you want to give him your number. I still regret giving one guy my number because he doesn't seem to get the hint when I say I have a boyfriend. He still wants to meet in person and I honestly have no interest in him. It would probably be a good idea to send him a message on the social networking site that you are both on. Jason and I were both on myspace and I learned a bit more about him from his profile there before we met. But I would call him first. If you are seriously interested in this guy, its time to put that to the test and give him a call. You never know what might come of it. It might be love. I know I found it online. Its been 6 months officially with Jason and he still makes me feel like a giddy school girl with a first crush at times lol! Just remember that you are not obligated to like this guy in person even if he sounds great online.

Good luck!

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