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Relationship Health Message Board

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Im a bit uncomfortable coming on here to talk about this, but honestly it seems like i cant fix whats going on and im really having problems dealing with life. Idk if im going through depression or not i have always had a pretty happy life. I just am lookin for some encouragement or somebody to just tell me something that may help me turn things around.
For starters i have always had a horrible relationship with my father. Not so much of anything like being physically abused but verbally and emotionally. I am now 21 years old and havent heard him tell me he loved me since I was prolly ten or eleven. I admire the man a lot in some ways but then it turns right around that i want nothing to do with him. My dad has a really bad alcohol problem and treats me like crap but its almost like i am use to it and i started moving past it cause i thought it was only me that was having the problem in my family. Well i find out how truely depressed my mom is because he treats her horrribly too. My mom is my hero and i love her so much. I cant take seeing her upset. She doesnt wanna be with him at all she wants a divorce but doesnt wanna do that to our family. She is always thinking of others first. I cant take the way my dad treats me or her at all anymore.

Then to add to it i have fallen in love with a girl who means the world to me. I use to wake up in the morning thinking life would always be perfect since she came into my life. I really admire the person she is. But lately thinkings are falling apart between me and her, she is not much into the relationship anymore and i feel like she is just staying in it not to hurt me, but it hurts worse thinking that cause ill talk to her asking her whats wrong and i never get anything out of it.

Im sorry this is so long with bad english throughout it but honestly i cant take much more of this depression, i cant even sit through a church service and put my thoughts on god where they need to be because everything seems like its falling apart. I dont have anyone to turn to, i cant even talk to my mom about it, or my girlfriend which use to i could confide in her about everything.

Will someone please help me make sense of this... Lord knows i need it.

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