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I know I will need to have the talk with DBF eventually...I know I've posted about it on here a couple times. Come to think of it, I think you replied then too, [B]Larrylou'smom[/B]. :)

And yes, I didn't think about the possibility that DBF might be thinking I will change my mind because we remained together. I know when we had our last big argument about this, I asked him if he still wanted to be with me...his response was [I]"Don't ask me that right now"[/I] - I think because he was distraught and he didn't want to think about losing me; obviously he didn't leave, or else I wouldn't be here asking this stuff. He did listen to my reasons for not wanting children, and he'd already told me his reasons for wanting them. He heard me out and said he thought my reasoning was understandable. The thing that got me was he told me I might "change my mind", which is something no childfree person likes hearing. But then I threw it back in his face and told him he might change HIS mind, and he said that he might. That gave me a little hope.

I don't know if he said that because he feels humans in general are prone to mind changing or because he really might change his mind and feel that he'd be happy with only me in life.

I'm thinking of possibly recruiting a friend of mine and his to strike up a conversation that deals with kids. Probably my ex since his fiance is pregnant and he's just thrilled about it. I might ask him to gush to my BF about it and have him say something like, [I]"So, does Dark Stranger still not want kids? Or did she change her mind yet?" [/I] to see if BF will talk about it with Ex.

Trust me, I know it's going to be rough seas ahead if DBF and I are still on totally different pages about the kids thing. Personally, I'd like to think I mean more to him than potential babies and while this may sound irrational, his desire to have kids almost makes me feel like I don't make him happy enough, and he has to fill in the voids of unhappiness with babies. He's already said one of the reasons he wants to have kids is "so he won't be bored with his life". Maybe I was having a bad day that day, but it sounded like he was implying he'd get bored with me as time went on. And let's face it...even parents who adore their kids will tell you that babies aren't exactly a cure for boredom. Plus I don't think it's a very good idea to give a baby a job like official curer of boredom because what happens when the baby gets boring? I suggested if we get bored, we could do things like travel, pursue hobbies together, take classes (like tae bo or cooking), exercise together, and so on. Kids do drain money out of a person, so when there aren't any, one can use their extra income to pursue things they may otherwise not have been able to if they had kids.

I'd consider getting an IUD put in since I hear they are very effective as well as temporary, which would put DBF at ease. I could just keep getting them replaced once they...expired, I guess. Maybe the security of knowing the method I chose is temporary but very effective would make him relax a bit more. I'd much rather get Essure, especially since IUDs have a heightened expulsion rate in nulliparous women.

Well then I guess DBF best get used to using condoms for the rest of his life. It's too bad since I would definitely like to not bother with them and rely on Essure, but since he can't deal with me being sterile, he'll have to deal with those lovely latex sheaths forever. :p

Part of me wonders something...what if I had some kind of issue with my body that either made me infertile or would make pregnancy dangerous for me? I wonder if DBF would accept being without children under those circumstances. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with me...I have no clue since I have never been to a gyno. But I wonder if he'd resent me if I just naturally was unable to have kids. I never asked him that.





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