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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I read your other post, so although I don't really think this post is your problem, I figured I would answer it anyway. Regardless of these issues/concerns you have, it does sound like your husband has some major issues, and his seemingly possessive behavior is just added to everything else. But, to answer your questions, these are my responses. (I'm not married, but living with my boyfriend, so it's more or less the same thing)


Would your husband notice if you changed the color of your toe nail polish?
[B]Probably, but maybe not. Only because I don't really paint my toes in the Winter, so if I did, he would notice. But, if I had red on one way day and blue the next, he may not notice, and if he did, he certainly wouldn't care.
[/B]
Would your husband surf the internet looking for a dress for you for an upcoming wedding (while you were at work)?
[B]No. That could be one of two things. Either he's being nice and trying to help you out, or he wants to be in control of what you wear. I'm guessing your concern is that he is the latter.[/B]

Does your husband tell you that you look nice or cute or sexy every day, sometimes more than once a day? (even when you have bed head and you know you can't possibly look cute) Maybe some women think this would sound nice, but I hear it so much it loses its sincerity.
[B]No. I certainly wouldn't mind it though. Is this part of your husband "sucking up" as you described in your other post?[/B]

Does your husband need you to reassure him daily that his own outfit looks good?
[B]No, but he does like to be reassured that he looks nice, not all the time though, but he is concerned with how he looks [/B]

Does your husband pay close attention to when you start your period?
[B]No, he has a general idea of it, but that's only because I complain the first few days because of bad cramps. Other than that, he would really have no idea.[/B]

If you're both home on the weekend, does he need to know what you're doing in your part of the house while he's watching football? Does he prefer if you read your book sitting on the couch next to him?
I[B]f one of us goes in the other room, we will occasionally yell "what are you doing?" from the other room to each other. *As a side note- as I was typing this, my boyfriend came up to give me a kiss and asked what I was doing- haha*. Anyway, he does like it if I sit with him while he watches football. Just because he likes to be near me. I will play on the computer or even lay on the couch with him and he'll rub my back while he watches football (that's how he gets me to stay near him :) [/B]

Does your husband prefer that errands/grocery shopping are done with the whole family going instead of either you or him going out alone?
[B]We do most of our shopping together, unless one of us is just running out to get a few things. But, we don't have kids, so that probably makes a difference. [/B]

Anyway, it seems most of the things you listed are fairly normal activities of a couple who love each other. But, it seems that either you are looking for controlling behavior in him, or you just don't love him, so you don't care to spend time with him or don't appreciate him caring about you. Maybe he does these things in a controlling way rather than an "I love you and just want to be near you" way?





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