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Re: How to react?
Jan 27, 2009
Well its done.....my boyfriend broke up with me last night:(:(:confused:

...the night that was supposed to be the happiest time of my life....and I [email protected]#ked it all up. I found out I got into nursing school and then later that night he breaks up with me....what the heck is wrong with me...

He came over last night for a about 20 mins before he had practice and ate some fast food. I noticed he was gathering some of his stuff (a cd that had been sitting on my entertainment stand since AUG, the shoes (with the box he only just this weekend wore out that I bought him for xmas, the camcorder I had out he put in the camcorderbox -with all the cables) but he did this very nonchalantly like to act like he just wanted to break in the shoes, and the DVD had been there forever and he wanted to play with the camcorder. Then he asked for his shirt because he said he wanted to wear it the next day. So at this point I had a feeling that he just wants all his stuff out of my place. I asked him coyly if there is anything else of his he wants and he just laughed and asked me what I was talking about. By this point he was hurried to make his appointment so he hugged me and told me congrats and that was it.
I also thought it was weird how Sunday night he was so interested in his camera too and took that with the box, cables and everything else and it made me think then that that was odd as well...

Another thing I noticed was that when he was talking to his friend on Sat all I could hear from him was 'well the internet doesnt work at my house....the library doesnt stay open that late..yea"...so the friend he was talking to I figured she was asking him what he was doing at my place. So I was thinking when did he really feel that he didnt want to be with me??? The second he found out?

I know that Friday our conversation got cut because we had prior plans to watch a movie and we took separate cars. The whole time driving for like 20ish minutes I could see him on the phone with someone (he was behind me). So I know he was probably talking to someone about what just happened (which I figured was one of his 2 close friend who also happen to be ex's of his btw).

I dunno I guess I am just confused that how can we go from saturday, sitting down and having a heart to heart and looking each other in the eye and him telling me that we can work things out to last night tellin me that he doesnt know and that he doesnt think it will work.

I told him in the over a yr that we knew ea other we never fought and that we had more good times than bad so why let the bad overcome this? We went from 100 miles an hour to hitting a brick wall and he doesnt even want to get up and try? I told him that I think he is worth the try...worth the fight and that I am willing to try my best to make him trust me. But he says he just doenst think he has it in him and that he doesnt think he is strong enough.

I also asked him if this happed (the trust thing) in the past and he said yes. And I then asked if he gave her another chance and he said that he did. Then I asked well then why cant you give me another chance??? He said that because he just thinks it will end the same his other relationships did...and it kills me because I thought we had something so different that he would be willing to give some effort...

He also told me that he feels he has already given me a chance before (when I saw his email and opend and saw how he had the e harmony account) but I told him that no, we BOTH were wrong there and I dont feel that that should be used as him giving me a chance when we both were wrong.

He just told me that he was tired and stressed from work f/t and school f/t and practice and I felt like he was saying that he just doesnt want to try.

Even after two hours of talking on the phone and I asked him (while bawling) why this has to be done over the phone and he just says I dunno I guess we talk on the phone better than in person....

I asked him if he knew when he was coming to get his stuff earlier in the day if he already knew he was done with me , but he said no (?!) That confused me...but anyways...

He said well having this conversation with you has pretty much help me decide....

He told me that it was not that I was curious and that I dont trust him and that trust cant be replaced. He also said that I am very insecure and that I must be deeply rooted with insecurity if when he has no signs of cheating I go and do this to him. I told him that I dont feel like I am insecure and I dont feel like I dont trust you but he told me that it is probably on a subconscious level...

So I guess then that he wants to break up and be alone...he doesnt even want to just take a few steps back...he wants to pull the plug in our relationship and throw in the towel..

he says he forgives me....but if he really did wouldnt he give me another chance?!?!?!:confused:

My heart has been ripped out of me and I only have myself to blame......:(





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