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[QUOTE=JohnnyBoateng;3883976]But the people-pleaser in me can't bring himself to tell her straight that I don't want things to develop any further between us. Maybe this is something I have to learn to do at this stage in my life...[/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

Don't worry, its not an abormality, nor an overly bad problem to have! ;)

My ex was like that (not saying you're like him that much, he was a jerk overall, you're clearly not). He led me on for months, and months because he felt like he couldn't say no, or so he says, and kept saying "I only did it for you not for me."
You're not like my ex, he didn't have good intentions such as yourself, but I think men can find it hard to say no. In fact, if you come here often on these boards, must men don't say anything and just disappear because they just can't face the music! I may be making a huge assumption and generalization here, but it seems like it is inherently a male thing, in their biological nature or something!

I can see you know what the situation is with Louise, and the consequences likely to follow.
You know how you feel, which is good!

So come on...slowly take action.

You don't have to disappear from her life entirely but certainly for now you need to back right off. She [B]NEEDS [/B] to be able to stand on her own two feet. Yes, she's had a bad time in the past, but loads of people do. People are almost murdered, raped, beaten, drugged, mugged. People have witnessed relatives deaths etc. But life goes. Doesn't mean they're going to be incapable of life alone. Louiseneeds to, to be able to survive and look after her baby.

She has her ex, she has family. Its up to them now. She is lucky she has any family at all! Some people, are REALLY alone. If this was the case here, then I could begin to understand your help to a certain degree.

Honestly, please, don't feel guilty or responsible.

You're doing not only yourself, but her and her baby, more damage by staying around. If you're not going to do this for yourself, then do it for Louise.

It will be really, really hard, I understand, and you should know too, but you need to tell her you need to take a step back and stay out of all this. Tell her you're still her friend, but that nothing more will happen, and you think now is a good time to seperate for a while. So she can get used to not having you around, and being able to get more support from her family and prepare herself for the birth of her child. She needs to concentrate on that, and not find out about you and Lora or some other girl you'll eventually begin to date.

Good luck Johnny.

You sound like a lovely, lovely man.

Oh and by the way....still keep searching online for girls to go out on dates with. Remember not to expect much, it's just something to keep you busy while you distance yourself from Louise. Just meet up with some girls, even if its just for spending time with new people and enjoying female companionship ;) Doesn't always have to be a girlfriend :angel:

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