It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Right now I'm feeling sad :( There have been some developments over the last few days.

Firstly, I have started chatting to a new girl, Lora. She and I have been IM contacts for over a year and on Thursday evening I decided - for no discernable reason - to say "hi" for the first time in nearly that long. We chatted online for three hours and it felt like thirty minutes. She was a different girl to the one I remember from before: more mature. She gave me her telephone number and asked if I could call her. We then spoke for three hours. In the morning, by text message, she said I had "won her over". We have spoken every night at length and we're building up to meeting up. We don't live too far apart.

Meanwhile, yesterday my ex-girlfriend, Louise (these are middle names, by the way), called me and essentially told me that she wishes we lived closer together because she could do with some male company. I knew in that instant that trouble was brewing. Tonight it came to a head, sooner than I feared. I was talking on the telephone to Lora when Louise sent me a text message requesting that I call her. Being the soft fool that I am I asked Lora if I could call her back. She was instantly funny about it and she didn't even know who it was I was going to call :( I guess she had a gut instinct.

Well, it turned out that Louise was half asleep and she asked if I could call her tomorrow instead. So I sent a text message to Lora to ask if I could call her back and she replied to say yes, but in a very short way. I tentatively called her, wishing I hadn't got off the phone from her in the first place, and there was a definite atmosphere. The conversation wasn't flowing at all so I said I should go to get a good night's sleep and Lora basically hung up on me. I felt gutted. I can't explain it but it feels fateful that something good is destined to happen between Lora and I. So I tried to act decisively to reverse some of the damage.

I sent her a message to apologise for abandoning our conversation for the sake of my "friend". I said it felt like I had upset her and she replied to say that I had. A few messages later and she had told me that she really feels strongly about me. Last night in her good night text message she basically said she would like to be my girlfriend but I held back. I figured that had something to do with her mood this evening. So I asked her if she would like to be my girlfriend. She replied to say yes and asked why I was asking. I sent her a message to ask if I could be her boyfriend but she hasn't replied. I am encouraged because she had previously sent me a message to say she needed to sleep and she ended it by calling me a pet name.

Now... I know the more sceptical of you will be wondering what the heck I am doing asking a girl I have never met whether she would like to be my girlfriend. But I have just got that feeling that we are going to be a good match. In her words she has "never clicked with anybody this quickly". But that could just be because I'm a good listener and a natural conversationalist... Anyway, suffice to say that even though I haven't had time to draw breath or pinch myself, I have been happy - up to this evening's hiccough - with the emergent situation between Lora and I. So why am I awake at 01:30 spilling my guts to you guys?

As I lay there trying to remain optimistic about Lora and I, I couldn't get Louise out of my head :dizzy: I know I owe her nothing and she treated me badly when I was her boyfriend. And I know her baby is the joint responsibility of her and her ex-boyfriend. But I feel like I will be letting her down if I throw myself wholesale into a new relationship and forget about her as anything more than a distant friend. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only positive aspect to her otherwise grey life. Not all of the bad things of her life are of her own making.

She was born into relative poverty by UK standards. She is very bright but she hasn't received the same level of encouragement by her parents as have I. She was raped at a young age and had her knees broken by a former boyfriend. I know these things aren't my fault or my responsibility to make amends for. But, in classic male fashion, when we first got together, I thought I might be able to brighten up her life and "rescue" her. Now it feels like she's worse off than ever because she faces parenthood as a single mother. Emotionally, financially, and physically it's going to be tough on her.

There's this misplaced sense of chivalry in me that is telling me I should be at least more of a friend to Louise and do more to help her. For example, I have offered (a few weeks ago) to take her shopping for maternity wear as she cannot afford to pay for it herself. But I know that if things develop between Lora and I then nothing like that can happen. And that's what's keeping me awake. I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I'm going to have to make a conscious choice which could define mine and possibly two other people's happiness to some extent.

I've typed too much already and it probably doesn't make much sense so I think I should sleep on things. Maybe my choice will be made for me by what Lora says in response to my last message. She has sent a reply but it was a blank message... that's a new one on me.[/COLOR][/FONT]

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:47 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!