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Relationship Health Message Board

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Emotional affair
Jan 31, 2009
I've been to my first marriage counselling appt alone.
Conclusion was that me and my husband were just good friends, that there is more to a relationship than just friends, the emotional side of our relationship is nonexistent and probably has been for a long time. She can also see why i am having an emotional affair with another guy from work.

My husband will not discuss our relationship and just brushes it under the carpet and he knows about my emotional affair with this other guy. He's annoyed but forgets quickly and carries on as though nothing has happened. He is a happy calm kind of guy though.

I am so attracted to this other guy. I know he likes me a lot from his actions but am not totally sure what he is after. We slept in the same bed a couple of times after nights out but he didnt try it on. I know he shouldn't be paying a married woman attention but I've been so vulnerable (depression which i'm being treated for) at times that the attention is sooo good.

I feel like i am missing something from my life and am just not happy.

I regret getting married, I was always anti marriage and am still.
[QUOTE=Pickle Eyes;3869905]Being in a position of an affair (emotional or physical) doesn't "just happen." Someone puts him/herself in a position to receive the attention (physical or emotional) that results in the affair.[/QUOTE]

I never put myself up for an affair. I was extremely depressed and even felt suicidal. I went to work, did my job and went home. I can be quite shy at times. The other shy quiet guy started being helpful and it developed until he asked me to help him with some interesting project work. Work became interesting, depression lifted, now I am getting invited out and about with colleagues. I have changed. Affairs were not on my mind at that time, depression was. I was too inward to know what was really going on outward...until it hit me. Are you saying that HE put himself up for the affair ?
To be honest, I think the innocent work friendship has just developed.

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