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I have been going out with a wonderful man for 7 months, I set up home with him, brought a gorgeous cat and have been very happy!!! We have been to London, Paris, see shows - you name it we have done it. We love each other badly and then I had an anxiety attack, the first time he was wonderful, took time with me, cuddle me etc. The second time he was a little uneasy and said it was hurting him seeing me go through this, so I promised I would talk to him and I would change, as he wanted to end it! Then it came again and this time he ended it and asked me to leave! I left and have been staying at friends hoping he would see that I was sorry but each time I saw him he was saying that his head said No dont go back there but his heart was saying grab me and lets move on. I can't stop calling him or texting as I want him to know I am changing, I am having hypnotherapy for my attacks. He says he knows but I have hurt him badly and he cant take that chance on me. So on Friday I did not text him or call him and I went round on Saturday as I was missing him and the cat. We ended up test driving a car, and afterwards MASSIVE cuddles where he held me tight were given and passionate kiss and he said to me "there is sooo much feeling there". So we agreed to see each other on Sunday, he never answered my texts about a time so again I popped round, this time all my stuff was in the spare room and he said that he is confused still due to the head leading the heart he says that he needs to talk to his best friend (but he is on holiday at the moment) to get his head straight. He says that he doest want to keep seeing me/speaking to me because he knows we will only just go back out and nothing will be sorted in his head. I then rang him later on that night and he answered and he put the phone to the cat so I can her purring and he was saying that his feelings have never changed about the love for me etc, but he is scared I will hurt him. Please help me I don't know what to do I want him back soooooo badly - as we had planned our futures! Please help!!!! He has not told his Mum or anyone about the breakup. I love him badly and he says that he is too scared to touch me because all the feelings come back, he says I am the most georgeous girl in the world, does he need time to relise I have changed or am I just hoping???
Well you had an anxiety attack for goodness sake! I can't image you'd snap back to "normal" after having it. Perhaps he needs to be educated on what a person is actually going through when they have such an attack. Or maybe he's using the attacks as an excuse for something else? Maybe something has happened in a past relationship and he feels as if it's happening again, and he's scared?
Print out some information off the internet about anxiety attacks. Take him to your doctor so they can explain it. Any person that is educated and has compassion wouldn't leave a person over anxiety attacks.

IF he can't deal with this then this man might be good with things are going good but can't handle anything when things arent going good. He might bail on you when things get rough too. Some people want things to be just perfect all the time and when they aren't they feel the relationship is now flawed.

Try educating him as another poster has mentioned - you are doing what you can to help yourself and one more thing - you can't help this and DON'T feel bad about yourself and what you're going through. Lots of people have it and you shouldn't be made to feel like you're damaged by another person and not worthy of love and companionship.
And this has only happened 3 times in 7 months?

The only way I could even begin to see this impacting whether you could stay with
someone or not is if the partner also has a history of anxiety attacks and you are
sort of triggering each other. With the info you give, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me
either.
Speaking as someone who suffers from anxiety attacks, my only advice to you is to just let him pout in his corner, and you should go find a guy who will be supportive. He probably has no idea what it feels like to have a panic attack. I know what it feels like, and what I would need in that situation is a man who is strong, who can be understanding and patient and kind and who wouldn't make me feel even worse than I already do. What I don't need is some yo-yo who is going to sit there and make me feel like I am doing something wrong and making his life miserable just because of a condition that I rarely have control over!

While you should endeavor to change this for yourself, to help yourself through the anxiety and find a way to either cope with it or to eradicate the panic attacks, you should only do that for your own health and well-being. It doesn't sit well with me that you feel like you need to do all of this "changing" just to get him back, when he has shown no compassion, no support and no signs of ever trying to even remotely understand what you're going through.

Just let this guy go, he's not worth it for you. Tell him that you're not going to stay with someone who won't even try to understand what you're feeling and how you suffer when having a panic attack.





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