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Relationship Health Message Board


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I've gone through break ups before but it feels like for some reason each break-up is harder and harder on me. I'm starting to wonder if there is something "wrong with me" or I'm obsessive or something?? Are these feelings normal?? I know they seem normal to me but as time goes on and I can't seem to get a grip I'm concerned that what I'm going through is not the normal????????:confused:

Its been almost 4 months and I still cry about him, us, etc. at least a couple times a week.

Sometimes I still cry myself too sleep.

Hes STILL all I think about, dream about, last thing I think before I sleep and the first thing when I wake.

I check his internet networking site at least once a day even though its on private; just to see his mood and status??? And I can't seem to stop even knowing that it causes more pain and hurt (I found out hes seeing someone this way)...Why would I keep torturing myself? I know its a simple "don't check it"...but its like crack, or maybe I'm obsessed???

I'm driving myself insane thinking over and over and over things that were said, things that should have been done differently

Hes already told all his friends and family that I am a psycho and I'm starting to beleive it myself.

I have NO interest to date anyone, I tried right after the break-up and it did not work well for me at all.....I hate men right now and am starting to think I will never like men again. I have no desire for them...my trust is completely ruined.

So I know to try new hobbies, stay busy blah blah...but I also have been out of work for 10 months and suffer from depression as well. It has got so bad I am tempted to go back on anti-depressants for awhile.
I dont have insurance so I went to the local health dept for help and they gave me a counselor, but shes not very knowledgable at all.

I'm really starting to feel like Im loosing my sanity. My life is falling apart and I have this sick mentality that if my life fell apart enough he would come back and rescue me (I KNOW he won't); or maybe I am punishing myself because I do blame myself for pushing him away??????

Again, Ive been through break ups before but I am having severe obsessive thinking over this man.....Is this normal?????? When does it stop???????
I've talked to friends and some say this is normal but nobody understands my head is racing 24/7 about this man and I feel immobile.

The whole world has moved on and I've stood still since Nov. Its like winter passed and its almost spring and I have a hard time grasping reality these days. I'm just an observer and so lonely and so depressed.

And I dont want to get with someone else because I think thats been my problem and I'm trying to do something different this time around and stay outta a relationship until Im done being miserable...but Im thinking I wont ever not be miserable.

Are these normal break-up emotions??

Help!:dizzy:
you know in some ways, i can relate to you. its also been 4 months for me since my break up. im not really interested in dating anyone, and i think about him all the time. i dont know if hes who i think about when i wake up, usually my kittens distract me, but i know before i go to bed i think about him. i have actually had dreams about him every night for a week. i hate it. anyways... my point is [I]you are not alone[/I]. i too am having a hard time moving forward after 4 months after the break up, i still wonder what could i have done different. although, i have not acted out on it. so you can feel this way, and just not act on these feelings. what helped me, was blocking his numbers (which i unblocked a few times, and reblocked so even that isnt promising but it DOES help)
there was only 1 time where i acted like a crazy girl... and since then i havent even wanted to speak to him. he influences me to be someone i am not.. he just brings out the pyscho side of me- literally. now. it wasnt like that during the relationship, just towards the end when i was fed up with him. i didnt talk to him for like 2-3 months then randomly one day i found myself being drawn back to him.. and i unblocked his number. we tried to be friends, then one night i went insane... first thing the next morning i blocked his number again. havent talk to him since. it was bad news.

he also has another girlfriend, although he started dating her the week we broke up. i can say that was probably the most painful thing to accept, and i still havent accepted it. it literally makes me sick to my stomach thinking about him with her.. and sometimes it makes me sad.
i am also guilty of checking his networking site, although not near as much as before. i will catch myself checking it maybe once a week... and his girlfriends once every 2 weeks. just to see... and i dont need to be doing that. i have improved though because i used to check it like 6 times a day. i was obsessive... although he still didnt know it!!!

one thing i can suggest, is allow yourself to think about him. dont let it be painful.. not stuff like how could you have changed, think about just the relationship. the good, and the bad. remind yourself that he wasnt perfect, and that everything happens for a reason.
i too agree that break ups get harder after each one... which can make one afraid of love, but your heart will mend. its been a SLOW process for the both of us... believe me. you just have to remind yourself that there is somebody out there, who wont make you feel that way.
[QUOTE=sillysilly_ goose;3879392]i too agree that break ups get harder after each one... which can make one afraid of love, but your heart will mend. its been a SLOW process for the both of us... believe me. you just have to remind yourself that there is somebody out there, who wont make you feel that way.[/QUOTE]

I sure hope so.:)

Some things happened today that I think brought me some closure. And Im hoping that things get somewhat better from here out.

I know exactly what you mean about someone bringing the worst out in you:dizzy:

I just really am so through with it all right now and focusing on my faith to get me through this hard time.





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