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Where do you factor into this relationship? Everything out of her mouth his about her. Her needs, her feelings, what she is comfortable with. It's pathetic on her part really.

I agree with (Rose was it?) that you should turn the tables and tell her that if she can't grow up (because she is acting like a spoiled child) then you are breaking up with her! Her behavior is RIDICULOUS!!!

I get this impression that you did not sign on for this kind of one sided relationship where your feelings are an after thought. I really hope you stick to your guns here and do what is right for you. She is clearly not the girl for you. The question is, how much longer are you going to go on pretending she is.

BTW, with the calling your mom thing, I am leaning towards Red's synopsis of borderline psycho. Normal people don't tattle on their 30 year old boyfriend.
[QUOTE=Tubular;3892089]thank you for the encouragement everyone. We talked for over 2 hours on teh phone last night. We argued some, she cried some, she got mad some, but I never gave in.

When she started crying it was really hard for me to not give in though...she would say things like...[i]I just don't ever want to go anywhere without you, and it hurts my feelings that you would want to go places without me.[/i] [i]I don't have any friends, I'm going to be so lonely without you! What am I supposed to do all weekend!?[/i] When I suggested that maybe she visit her family this weekend, she said she couldn't b/c she needed to study for a test. When I asked her why she couldn't study for her test at her parents place she said...[i]you just don't understand, I don't study when I'm at home, I can't study when I'm at home.[/i]

When we first started dating she was friends with a bunch of guys and a few girls. After we started dating all those people disappeared. I don't know if they quit talking to her, or if she quit talking to them. I encouraged her to continue hanging out with her friends, but for whatever reason, she didn't.[/QUOTE]

Ii use to be like your girlfriend but with time I realized in addition to having a boyfriend, I needed to pursue my own life with my own friends.

She is like this because she is co-dependent on you...She needs to build her own life in addition to the one she has with you.

That's what the problem is here.
Tubular, I noticed that you never answered my question about your friends. Not that it matters too much in the long run, but it would be interesting, and it would go a ways into explaining at least in part how things got to this state.

This situation kind of reminds me of something I went through. I dated a guy once who had a roommate. This roommate had a lovely, smart, sweet girlfriend who was also very insecure in the relationship. Now, it was quite a different situation from yours in one way, in that she had good reason to be. He cheated on her almost every single weekend, and he played in a band so always had women crawling around him. She was inexperienced as well, only one other boyfriend before him, and instead of just accepting that it was an unhealthy situation for her and leaving, she became like your girlfriend, clingy, insecure, hating for him to go anywhere without her. His friend was trying to talk him into going to Vegas for a a wild boys' only weekend, and this guy said "mmm, I don't know, Cherie wouldn't like it" and the friend said "*explative* Cherie!!" He just wanted his buddy to go carousing with him. He said he felt smothered by her, that he felt he always had to spend his weekends entertaining her, etc. Then of course he met a woman that he really fell for, and loved spending all weekend, from 5pm Friday night to 8am Monday morning, entertaining her, in fact treating her like a queen. And while she trusted him, she didn't really trust the women that flocked around him anymore than Cherie did, but they treated her with a respect that they never treated Cherie with, probably because they sensed from him that he was much more serious with, I'll call her Terri," than he ever was with Cherie, and you can bet his friends knew better than to try to pursuade him to go off on a girl-scoping, drinking weekend without her, and they knew that a "*explative* Terri!" would have earned them a punch in the mouth. Not that she wouldn't have been fine with him going off somewhere without her. She was very secure in that respect. He just never did.

I guess my point is, if your friends have this attitude, it's not helping your situation. She probably picks up on it.

But I think the bottom line is, you are obviously very very unhappy in this relationship and don't really like being with this girl anymore as she is. You can't change her any more than she can change you. Instead of complaining about her, perhaps it's time to just set her free and let the poor girl get on with her life and learning the lessons she needs to learn and set yourself free to find a woman you would actually want to take to New Orleans with you.





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