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Hey Silly Silly Goose. I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, b/c it's late and I'm tired. But I think I understand where you're coming from with your trust issues. You've been through a lot; no one will ever tell you that getting cheated on doesn't hurt. From the sound of it, you seem like a very trusting person by nature. It's great to trust other people, and to assume that others are trustworthy until they prove otherwise. "Innocent until proven guilty", right? I'm the same way; I'm very trusting, and almost naive at times.

When I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, the kneejerk reaction was to not be so trusting. But that never seemed right to me. The love I shared with my ex was really powerful, even overwhelming at times. It wasn't the best I've ever felt in my life, because deep down I knew that things weren't perfect with us. Yet, with time, I realized that if I were ever going to have another relationship that was as satisfying as that one had been for me, I needed to feel the trust and connection that I felt with my ex. I knew I would need to give it my all.

So should we just love blindly, knowing that every relationship we ever have, except for The One, is going to end in heartbreak? Well, unfortunately, heartbreak is the name of the game. However, that doesn't mean love and trust have to be blind. It doesn't mean we should just give our hearts to anyone.

And here's what I've come to conclude. I will trust fully and love fully again, when the time is right. But I need to make sure that I find someone who is worthy of that trust, that love, that commitment. With so many people in this big world of ours, you've really got to be selective with who you let into your life. You have to be really careful when you give your heart to someone else. Because, the harsh reality is, most of the people in the world won't be right for you. They won't be worthy of your love and your trust. You've got to work at it a little bit and just persevere until you find someone who is.

Take things slowly next time around. Give yourself tons of time to just be single and be yourself between relationships. Have plenty of "deal-breakers" when you first meet someone. If you're unhappy, or something doesn't seem right in a relationship, don't be afraid to walk away. Don't be afraid to call it quits. Because you're an incredible person, and you deserve the best the world has to offer. You shouldn't have to put up with any BS. And trust me, there are still going to be a lot of guys out there who will be just perfect for you. This is how I've come to see the dating world. Be careful who you trust, but when you do trust, trust fully and with all your heart.
[QUOTE=plaxmax34;3910018]Hey Silly Silly Goose. I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, b/c it's late and I'm tired. But I think I understand where you're coming from with your trust issues. You've been through a lot; no one will ever tell you that getting cheated on doesn't hurt. From the sound of it, you seem like a very trusting person by nature. It's great to trust other people, and to assume that others are trustworthy until they prove otherwise. "Innocent until proven guilty", right? I'm the same way; I'm very trusting, and almost naive at times.

When I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, the kneejerk reaction was to not be so trusting. But that never seemed right to me. The love I shared with my ex was really powerful, even overwhelming at times. It wasn't the best I've ever felt in my life, because deep down I knew that things weren't perfect with us. Yet, with time, I realized that if I were ever going to have another relationship that was as satisfying as that one had been for me, I needed to feel the trust and connection that I felt with my ex. I knew I would need to give it my all.

So should we just love blindly, knowing that every relationship we ever have, except for The One, is going to end in heartbreak? Well, unfortunately, heartbreak is the name of the game. However, that doesn't mean love and trust have to be blind. It doesn't mean we should just give our hearts to anyone.

And here's what I've come to conclude. I will trust fully and love fully again, when the time is right. But I need to make sure that I find someone who is worthy of that trust, that love, that commitment. With so many people in this big world of ours, you've really got to be selective with who you let into your life. You have to be really careful when you give your heart to someone else. Because, the harsh reality is, most of the people in the world won't be right for you. They won't be worthy of your love and your trust. You've got to work at it a little bit and just persevere until you find someone who is.

Take things slowly next time around. Give yourself tons of time to just be single and be yourself between relationships. Have plenty of "deal-breakers" when you first meet someone. If you're unhappy, or something doesn't seem right in a relationship, don't be afraid to walk away. Don't be afraid to call it quits. Because you're an incredible person, and you deserve the best the world has to offer. You shouldn't have to put up with any BS. And trust me, there are still going to be a lot of guys out there who will be just perfect for you. This is how I've come to see the dating world. Be careful who you trust, but when you do trust, trust fully and with all your heart.[/QUOTE]

hey plaxmax... i am a very trusting person by nature. i think many women are. i also forgive the ones i love a little too easily. which is why i've put myself through all the BS with my prior relationship. its not only cheating.. its trusting a person not to lie to you.. trusting a person not to take advantage of you. my problem was, i was so wrapped up in trying to make the person i loved happy, doing whatever he asked me to do, even after being abused & disrespected i forgave him. why? then i trusted him to not hit me anymore, and he did it again. anyways.. this is where my trust has surfaced. i am actually having many deal breakers... i dont want a boyfriend, at all but i have talk to guys. probably at least 5 since the break up and they have all been deal breakers. the most recent one, was a guy blew me off for another girl then made the mistake of "confessing" to me about it & trying to explain himself. i told him i wasnt interested in the explanation, or in seeing him. maybe thats a little harsh, but if i forgive him now... which i could have... what is he going to get away with later?
anyways. thank you for your response, it was refreshing :)





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