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Relationship Health Message Board

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So this is sort of a long story but here goes it. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We were both each others first and all that stuff. We have always talked about marriage and were both totally committed to one another, we just needed to wait until I graduate college in about 2 years. Well 2 years ago he had this friend at work and they talked a lot were just really good friends. Then one night he got drunk and was texting her, he actually told her he loved her (he meant as a friend). She told him she loved him but meant it like for real. He swears he had no feelings for her, he really thought the conversation was innocent, but then turned into something else. I think of this as emotionally cheating, whether you believe in that or not is whatever. Anyway, I have been pretty much over it for a while, its just that every now and again I get insecure. Well recently he moved 4 hours away for work. This is something we both discussed and decided that it was best for our futures financially. So then there was this girl at work again. They were friends and all which was cool. He can have all the friends he wants. But I just found out that he was cheating on me with her for about a week and a half. He had been telling me that he was going out with a guy friend of his, but actually he had been going out with another group of people and she was always there. They were both drunk at a club and they kissed. Then after that she would go to his apt and hang out and eat lunch and whatever. He swears they never had sex, which i believe. He completely admitted everything to me after I found out. He says that he was just trying to figure out how to tell me, but I wonder if I hadn't found out if he would have just kept on pretending it didn't happen. He broke the whole thing off with her after about a week and a half because apparently he realized that, now after 5 years, he really just can't be with anyone else but me and that he has never been more sorry in his life. He says that he just got lonely b/c we don't really get to see each other much and that he never had intentions to cheat. I truly believe he is telling the truth. I know that he had been kind of doubting things in our relationship b/c it is scary to be w/ the same person and never know what else is out there. But I am doing it just fine. Never had the urge to cheat. How can i be sure this won't happen again? Is it possible to forgive him and to regain that trust in him? He has given me all of his passwords to email accounts and such, says I can go through his phone and that he will do anything to build that trust back, but is it possible? I want to, I love him with all my heart, and I don't want to be with anyone else, but how can I be in a realationship with someone I don't trust????? Please help, I am going through HELL!!!!!


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