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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


LonelyDaisy - I can really relate to what you're going through. I was almost 31 when I had my first date, my first kiss, all that stuff. I dated who I thought was a wonderful guy for 2 years before he unceremoniously dumped me for a woman who was the polar opposite of everything he told me he wanted. That was 11 years ago, and I haven't dated anyone since, except an endless string of bad first blind dates from the internet dating sites.

My family is ok sometimes, though. I sprained my ankle the other night and my father met me in the emergency room and helped me get my stuff to my car and back up to my second floor apartment and my brother came over and walked my dog for me. But even though I know they love me, it's like a "I'm their daughter/sister so they have to love me, but they don't really like me, and if they didn't HAVE to have me in their lives, they wouldn't" kind of thing, you know?

I sure wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement for you. But I really just don't know what the answer is, after having searched everywhere for it for 44 years. I think all we can do is just be someone that WE can be proud of, that we feel good about when we look in the mirror, be respectful and thoughtful of other people's needs, beliefs, space, etc. and as far as possible without the surrender of self respect, be on good terms with everyone as much as possible, and what is meant to be will be I think. I think all you can really do is work and work and work at validating yourself, and getting to the point where you dont' really need anyone else's validation to make you feel good. Now, I know, so much easier said and done, and yes, that only gets us so far. Humans are social animals and we need company, someone to talk and laugh with, we need emotional intimacy, love, acceptance, meaningful touch, sex, etc. to really be completely healthy and whole. But we work with what we've got. Hang in there. I don't know if I helped at all, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. :angel:





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