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Relationship Health Message Board


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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, the first of which was rocky, but since he committed all was good.

He is a depressive and is on medication, but has serious anger issues, he has seen many psychologists-none of which seem to help him. He is not very emotional or tactile so i am constantly looking for affection, which he struggles with. (although i'm not overly needy)
We work quite well, as he challenges me mentally,is funny,will never hesitate to help me and i trust he is not the type to cheat on me. but i am constantly unhappy. either with the way he speaks to me, which is at times condescending (as he is very smart), and he cant connect on an emotional level. he is negative about most things, and has a short temper.

I have my flaws too, so i have always tried to find ways for us to overcome these challenges and have spoken to psychologists for help. He is very formulaic and i am creative, so have less structure to things, and struggle to communicate how i feel sometimes, but am definately more emotionally mature than he is, and as good as our communication has become, we still seem to not understand each other. What is a relationship if you can't communicate, right!

So here i am with 3 years of thinking he will never change but nonetheless, still trying to find ways to make it work because i love him and the man that he is sometimes, who loves me so much and has influenced my life in such a large way. To having a realisation now, that i am kidding myself, and i cant fight anymore. And as difficult as it is to leave him-and it breaks my heart, i have to do it for myself.

the things that scare me, are that maybe i wont find a man who will give me the things i really think i want, maybe men arent programmed like that. He is so good to me and im scared i'm being a fool. but i think the unknown is as scarey, what if we just carry on like this and eventually cant stand to be around each other- it's so difficult cause it's like i have to predict what will or wont happen in the future to decide my fate.
I'm in utter turmoil!!!

But to sum up, and if i am completely honest with myself, we have a rather failed relationship, but I just dont want to go through the pain of being without him in my life.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!





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