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Tina came by today to drop off my house key and a few other items. Tried to tell me why we are not together, but it sounded like just regular break-up lines. ĒIíve lost the passion, I see you more as a friend, not as a lover. ĒI need to be by myself right now. I want my independence and to see if I can take care of myself. I asked her if she realizes that if she gets married to someone else, she will lose that passion and excitement at some one with them too. What will she do then? Did not seem to grasp what I was saying. I think she believes that there will be ups and downs, but that the passion (read infatuation) the people associate with love will not wane in her future relationship. And she knows that I want to move forward to be married and pushed her into a corner with picking a wedding date. Iím not sure how you push someone into a corner for a wedding date when they have already said yes, but whatever. I told her that, look if you had talked to me about this we could have figured that out and I would have backed off the date a bit. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, so wedding or not, I would have backed off. She says she tried to tell me, but as soon as I challenged her on that, she backed away from the her statement.

Still wants to be friends at some point. Donít know why people donít get that the things that make a person a good friend, is the same things that make them good boyfriends and husbands. Anyway, I asked how is that gonna work. You gonna tell me about your new boyfriend? Are you gonna visit home, and then have inappropriate lunches and dinners with me like you did with your ex? She did not have much to say about that. Only that the passion is absent. I told her, that if you take a big, valuable diamond and cover it with mud, you canít see it, but its still there. You just have to clear away the mud. Our love, and the passion you say is missing that attraction is there and would come back, you just have to clear away the mud and believe its there. Iím the same guy that you wanted to marry a year ago, so nothingís changed. She said, she does not want to clear away the mud, she wants to just work on herself. I asked her about next time. Is she gonna do that with someone else, when the ďpassionĒ is gone? I mean you do realize it will wax and wane no matter who youíre with, so the question is why the commitment to someone you ďmayĒ find to marry versus someone in front of your face you can marry now?
I honestly think that she believes that it does not work that way. I think she believes that 1. one the attraction, passion, whatever she wants to call it will never come back between us. Makes me wonder how it was there to begin with, but whatever. 2. the person she meets next, and asks her to marry will remain her lifeís passion constantly and there will be no large ebb and flow of happiness, attraction, sexual attraction, or passion. 3. Sheís comparing the passion she does not feel to a passion does feel for someone else. She says she wants to be independent and work on herself. I donít believe for a second she is not gonna have sex while finding herself, or not date someone in a some what serious fashion. A friend of my asked a good question when I told her about-the meeting. ĒSo she has not been feeling this passion, ok, well when did it stop. Didnít she buy a strippers pole for you tow use like six weeks ago. If she not feeling you or anyone else, why that hell does she buy that. AND say she canít wait to use it on you?Ē Umm, probably because she is lying is my guess. Iíve heard that Iím working on me line before, and it always leads to that person having another relationship in short order.

A NOTE ON PROGRESS

In the books she dropped off, she left a book called "What I love about you." its a Q and A book that couples fill out for each other. I don't know why she gave it back. I'm not the one that needed to be reminded of what she loved about me. She's the one that forgot that. I'm probably just send it back. But my point is I glanced through, and did not shed one single tear. I did not choke up at any moment. I did not get emotional at all.

And as long as I don't think about anther man with her, or what I believed what my--our future. I don't think I will.:angel:





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