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Relationship Health Message Board

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I had to reply to your post because I was in a similar position. I'm not sure where you're from originally, but I moved for a boyfriend from the U.S to Belgium. Shortly after I got there, he started treating me badly. He was controlling and yelled at me a lot and basically emotionally abused me. I cried all the time, I was sick all the time, and I was miserable. I felt trapped, and he knew it, so he took advantage of it. It's not like I could just run home, I was thousands of miles away from friends and family. But the last straw was when we went on vacation together. He treated me like crap for the last time, so I finally broke. We had originally agreed that we would stay in Belgium for a year and them come back to the states together. He kept putting it off and trying to avoid the topic of moving back to the states, and our year deadline was quickly approaching. I finally told him that I didn't care what he did, I was leaving without him and coming back to the states (this all happened on our vacation). About a month and a half later, I left and came home. We broke up the day I left. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was still completely in love with him and thought he was the one I was going to marry. But I realized that he didn't treat me well, and I didn't like the life I was living when I was with him. So I had to make the decision to get out and find a better life for me. Here I am, 5 years later, and completely happy and in love with a great guy. I look back at my experience with my ex and honestly think to myself "what was I thinking being with someone like him?".

So my point is, if he doesn't treat you well (which it sounds like he doesn't), leave. It will be hard, and it will hurt, but you're better off in the long run. I understand his situation with his mother, but honestly, all I hear are EXCUSES. Things don't MAKE you drink or MAKE you act a certain way. He is choosing to act that way and he is just using his mother as an excuse. Don't buy it. Get your life back and leave without him.

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