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Hey guys,

Well, I've been seeing this guy since late December. We both adore each other, and have said we aren't seeing anyone else, nor are interested to. We've spent lots of time together and have lots in common. He is someone I could see myself with, and he said also that I am someone he could see himself with.

So....obviously I'm a bit older....not in the high school "will you be my girlfriend" type of mindset, but I mean we've talked about it, and everything is fine and dandy until the subject of putting a title (relationship) on us, or becoming exclusive. He told me he fears entering any relationship because he wants it to remain special and keep the excitement and butterflies, and doesn't want us to become boring.

This just all seems like a huge cop-out to me. He just got out of a 4 year relationship not long before me met me, and I a 2 year one a bit before his ended. We both are over our exs and like I said have said we don't see anyone else, or want to. Both said when we first met we were looking for another relationship possibly...What the hell is the issue with just saying we are together then? I know he cares, he isn't a talk one way and act another...brings me flowers, texts/talks to me constantly, see him several times a week...I just don't get it really. We are apparently still 'getting to know' one another and 'working toward' a relationship.

And no, I haven't done anymore then kiss him, and I refuse to outside a committed relationship, of which he's aware of. I have more respect for myself then that, and he'll talk about it, but doesn't push it.

I swear guys had a secret convention to conjointly never commit to anyone..haha. Seriously, the last two guys I 'dated' did the same thing, and no, I don't push it on them, and it's usually not even brought up by me, but by them. My good friend is experiencing the same exact thing with guys lately, the 'will date and see for months to half a year' or 'date and see if they'll put out' and not do anything else. At least I don't sleep with them though, I know that whole why buy the milk when the cow is free thing, unlike my friend.

So, alright. String of rut guys? Something I'm doing wrong (which would be odd since I don't even bring up the subject of it first but perhaps it is me, who knows)? Maybe it is the right thing and I'm just needing to be patient? My last and two serious relationships were primarily long distance...maybe this whole local dating thing is new to me or something.....

Your thoughts? :confused:
[QUOTE=AllTheSame;3917437]
LLM- I don't know if your being sarcastic or what but I have way more respect for myself then to just be interested in a guy, sleep with him, and wonder why he won't be in a relationship with me after. Sorry. I didn't just fall off the turnip wagon on that one. I do however understand your point that guy view it differently then girls, and want to test drive everything then settle. Maybe that's what this is, who knows.[/QUOTE]

No, I wasn't being sarcastic, and I'm glad that you have self respect, what so many young girls consider "Old fashioned" these days. With my own experiences and with what I've seen on these boards, I've sort of become disillusioned with the state of love and romance these days. But I do think you should stick to your guns absolutely and if you don't want to get physically involved until you have a commitment and have agreed that you are in a solid exclusive relationship, then you shouldn't. I totally agree with that, but I'm also just saying that as someone who is also very "old fashioned" it's been my experience in the dating world that finding a guy who actually wants to take the time to date you and get to know you, and who doesn't dump you when he realizes he's not going to get you in bed by the third date, is very very very rare. I myself have given up trying to find him. But I'm not saying you should at just 21. I'm more than twice your age.

It just does seem very strange that this guy won't just say "ok, you're my girlfriend." I don't get what's so terrible about that. But some guys are so silly about the whole thing. But stick to your guns, and just enjoy the time you have with him and don't press the "relationship" thing.





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