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Re: I am in prison
Mar 16, 2009
I just now saw your reply to me:) I'm a lil late . i dont work or have work experience and i dont even drive a car,iv'e let that phobia win. but I'm gonna be brave and overcome hopefully. iv'e been taking cabs and buses all the time and learning ways to find my own happiness. if I depend on a man to make ME happy,,I'll never be happy. I really only have one friend but we call each other and hang out now n then.
but i do things for me and i do things nice for him to. every morning i make him breakfest,tea and I even sometimes take an interest in his sports..just for him,he gets excited then lol. I go about my own life though and go to the park with the kids,dollor store or to see my son at his home. with my first and second marriage now,,i was so dependandt on the man to take me everywhere make a plan with me,i had to know a plan ,specifics to look forward to ,,didnt feel satisfied if i wasnt doing something with my husband. i decided to not do that no more,, i dont wait no more for him and i dont ask for plans,,i just go ahead and do things and he likes it,,who knew? he likes to hear about my little adventures and it gives us something to talk about.
your never in this world gonna change him,,but u can change u. what bothered me about my first husband is while he was boring ,he really didn't care about his personal matters and appearances. I started to really not wana even kiss him,I really got embarassed going places with him. i'd be so well cared for and well mannered . shiny hair and shiny teeth and there he would sit.. bad BO ,no teeth ,hair greasy,sticking up,whiskers and dirty hands. one day i said to myself .. god i just cant imagine living like this no more. i just cant. I just really cant imagine being forced into sex when he is so gross,i begged him to go to counsling with me ,begged him to stop hoarding things,,our home was a complete disgrace ,,he hoards things. he's a dumpster diver. he was cleaned up when i first got with him.. his teeth were bad but who knew he was going to get lazier as time went on? i told him i was finding looking at other men apealing,i was hinting to him for a long time about it but he didnt care. one day i met a new charming beautiful man ,,and he is. believe me he stole me right away. so what i am saying is not that people break up all the time over grooming needs but listen to your partner always.. if there is something bothering that partner.. wake up listen.. try to improove.. cause your going to lose that partner if u dont. maybe your husband will lose u to and i didnt just wait for him to work with me on things,,i begged him but he wouldnt do it. the whole other thing here will make u laugh .. but we live just down the st from each other now lol.. iv'e even tried to help him clean his trashed up apt when inspection rolled around. god it was hopeless..and he still looks like a junk yard dog lol but he's friendly and we remained friends. we are good parents. my husband now even gives him rides around town as he cant work due to a brain anurism 5 yrs ago.. during our divorce. he's a nice man my ex,,he even babysits for me my daughter with well our son we share together. all it takes is to see him for about 30 min and then i remember exactly why i divorced him. beleive me u will know if u wana divorce yours. when i done it i just done it full throddle and that was IT. u will be eager to wana get to YOUR life.
I still have a job to gain and experience independance that way but babysteps I have really came far. somethings u absolutly HAVE to walk away from if your miserable like i was. somethigns are worth saving and fighting for. I gave my first mariage 14 years of a try.. one day i gave up. I even gave up once or twice in 5 yrs here with my beautiful man here :) but somethings are worth saving. u will know ,,in your heart. if he's good to u and he's clean LOL and u have no love passion with the fella .. possibly this is also a normal things after years of marriage to. i just encourage counsling so much and being with friends and library and projects.. believe me having your own life in the same house even with him makes a world of diff.. u start realizing then what more u want in life.

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