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Re: Rough night
Mar 16, 2009
I've been thinking about your situation, ka. Thinking about how much you love that girl. You're the kind of guy that every girl says she wants. Feelings galore, you like to talk, you'd rather turn down easy non meaningful sex if it's not with the one you love. You still love her after what she did to you. Still pining away. Still heartsick. That's what girls dream about in their sleep. Just find me a guy like that! They say. Then what happens is what I've seen happen a zillion times. Once she knows she has his heart and he's too accommodating, too in love... or something... the instincts take over and she gets, for lack of a better word, bored. What else could it be? It's horrible.

I remember back in early highschool. I had a boyfriend. He was the sweetest, nicest, kindest, most loving person I had ever known. I think he was my first boyfriend now that I think about it. Somehow though in my warped girls mind, he became too clingy, too puppy dog, too enabling and I, being a stupid dumb moron, figured I could basically...walk all over him. I remember doing anything to try to get a fight outta him but he wouldn't. Said he loved me too much. I remember going out without him one night and seeing from across the room, this tall sexy blonde haired guy. He drove a jacked up Cutless Supreme. (jacked up was good back in the day lol) He was your typical bad boy. Girls hanging all over him. I kissed him that night and fell madly in love. I still remember the day when my boyfriend got down on one knee, tears streaming down his face, and asked me with all the truth his 17 year old self could muster to marry him. I remember me taking the ring from his hand, looking at it.. and handing it back it to him, telling him he was making me late to see this new guy that I had fallen so madly in love with. I'll never forget the pain and shock on his face that day. I can remember the weather, the way the sky looked and how I felt as I broke his heart. - numb. Even all these years later.

I'm convinced that hurting him so long ago has brought me all the pain I've suffered since then with guys. I almost feel like I deserve it. To this day I still cannot believe that I hurt another person, another human being, especially one that I cared so much about until Studly showed up, to that degree.

And what happened to Studly that I left my sweet boyfriend for? Yeah, you guessed it. He screwed around on me with my best friend and ended up marrying her. Took me 2 years to get over it. I think of him now and can't even remember his face. What a waste of time. 2 years!

All I can figure is that when girls are young, they don't know what they have. They don't know that the nice guys are the ones they really need to spend their lives with. They don't know that until they're like 30. It's something in our make-up. Our genes. Back from the caveman days. Where women wanted the men to drag um by the hair, tell um what to do and be big strong men and take care of them. Women always want that challenge. Prolly something from trying to please their dad's. Who knows.

My guess is that the same thing that happened with me and my boyfriend all those years ago, happened to you as well. You became brotherly. All too accommodating and she lost... that spark. It's sad. I don't know if she'll ever come back to you. My best guess is that since she knows you're at home still suffering over her, she figures she's got it made. You loving her forever while she keeps you on the back burner while she gets on with her life.

I bet you anything... the day you tell her her you're better. You've gone out with a sexy new girl and it was fun that she'll magically want you back. Or at least she'll be angry. She'll say to herself, "Damn! I handed him over on a silver platter!" Once she figures out that any new guy that may or may not get her blood pumpin for a minute will never measure up, she'll be like me and kick herself in the ass for the rest of her life.

You may have lost her, but SHE'S the one who lost. You're the one with NO regrets. You didn't do this. You didn't cause this. You're just left there to pick up the pieces. And that, my friend, is exactly what you should do. In time... when you feel like you can. Try not to sit around moping over her. Even if you don't want to, GO OUT and TRY to keep on living. That's when you're gonna find your way out of this mess. I do not in any way shape or form think that there is only 1 person out there for anyone. I have loved many times. I have loved them all. Each one was special and each one had my heart. You will find somebody else one day. She will become a memory. That's just the way it is. Start picking up those pieces. Start one piece at a time. One day a time. One minute at a time if you have to.

And know that YOU are one of those people that every girl would love to have as a boyfriend. Every smart girl that is. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know it hurts. I know... I know. : (


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