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[QUOTE=Brokenheart88;3945487]Broke up with my gf, 3.5yr R.L. Not just that, but it was how we broke up - things couldnt have ended any worse the way that they did. I dont want to get into detail about it, because in the past 5 days ive felt that Ive made significant progress and am just starting to get over her. Prior to that time, I was practically dwelling on and about her 24/7 - it was the absolute worst feeling of my life. But I have amazing support from my family who are always there for me. And if it wasnt for them, I would most likely still be crying over her today.

Im not looking for nor expecting that amazing person - I just want someone who is REAL. Im sick of being used, lied to, cheated on, played, the list goes on and on. I just want someone who can see the REAL me and appreciate me for who I am and not backstab me!

Hmm Ive never heard of the term soul-match before, but hey we all learn something new everyday! I will definitely look into this method! I really appreciate it!

Agreed - and ive learned my lesson in past relationships when i didnt allow enough time and pushed too fast. This is all a result of my impatience in general - perhaps my worst personality flaw. Ive tried working on becoming a more patient person, but its impossible!!!

Its cause when I meet a new girl, my emotions get too much of me and I cant control them. I get too excited, I get too eagar, I get my hopes up too high. Not something that im proud of.[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. It sounds like it was a pretty bad one, but as you said, maybe it's best not to get into the details, if it's still painful.

I can understand where you're coming from now with, you know, wanting to avoid women who won't treat you right, either through lying or cheating or what-have-you. But you don't really think that all women are like that, do you? It sounds like you've had some bad luck in relationships, but there are lots of women out there who won't mistreat you. If you can't think of any examples from your own experience, how about friends and family? I'm sure you probably know someone who either has or once had a really wonderful girlfriend. So they do exist, and you will find one for yourself someday.

The best advice I can give, in terms of that, is to just try your best to take things slower in the future. It actually makes a little sense that you've had a few bad experiences. You're emotions take hold of you when you meet someone you really like, and it's difficult to control yourself. If the woman in question doesn't get turned off by you coming on too strong, have you perhaps had relationships where you start getting very serious with a woman, very quickly?

See, that's a mistake because before you get invested in a relationship with someone new, I think it's very important to try to get a good idea of who you are committing yourself to, you know? It is important to try to get to know a woman as much as you can before the two of you start to get too serious. Believe it or not, I think there may be some warning signs and red flags that you may notice about someone, and those should warn you that maybe she's untrustworthy, selfish, etc. I mean, you'll never know [I]everything[/I] there is to know about a woman that you want to date; that takes a really long time, and even after being together for years, people can surprise you. But, if you hit the brakes, slow down a little and take your time in the early stages of a relationship, or after you first meet someone, at least you won't be flying blindly into a relationship. There's no guarantee that, using this method, you will be able to determine that a woman is absolutely trustworthy; however, you should be able to weed out the ones that absolutely aren't trustworthy. Ok?

Now, I'm guessing that's probably not the case with your relationship that lasted for three and a half years. Even if you two moved quickly in the beginning, after dating for so long I'm sure you knew her very well. Or at least you thought you did. Again, people can surprise you, and sometimes they really disappoint you. It really sucks when that happens, and there's really not much you can do to prevent it. I'm sorry, I know you didn't really want to discuss that relationship. I just didn't want to make it seem like I thought you were rushing headlong into all of your relationships.

So, as I said, do your best in the future to slow things down a little, and make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get to know the girls before you get serious with any of them. It's alright to be picky when you're dating, alright? And give yourself options. Do your best to meet lots of women, anytime and anywhere. Go on lots of dates. It will give you some choices, and it should also help you stop coming on too strong. If you need any advice about meeting new women, just say so. It's something I, and a lot of other men, have considerable trouble with. But it is something you can learn, and get better at. So just let me know, and I'll share whatever pointers I can.

The other thing is your emotions. You get too excited, and you get a little carried away. Having such strong emotions is a great thing, but I think you'll be a little better off if you can find a way to keep them in check a little bit. You have to believe that you can control your emotions. They're a part of you, and you're in control of yourself; don't let them control you, ok? Although I don't personally know of any, I'm sure there are some methods you can find to increase control of your emotions. See what comes up if you type it into a search engine.

Alright man, hope this helps you out. Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing.

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