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Relationship Health Message Board


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Well, first of all..how old is this girl? That totally makes a difference. From what you wrote it sounds like she might be trying to play a little hard to get...no girl wants to seem too eager...so she's not going to answer every call or text. And by her calling an hour after she didnt answer your call...sounds like she wants the upper hand of this playing hard to get. It seems like a game, but thats how some girls play it. Like it or hate it...your still interested enough to ask this thread our opinions so roll with the punches and if you seem interesting enough without being overbearing I'm sure things will start to work out. Also, remember that often time people really are just busy...
[QUOTE=marie25;3945014]Well, first of all..how old is this girl? That totally makes a difference. From what you wrote it sounds like she might be trying to play a little hard to get...no girl wants to seem too eager...so she's not going to answer every call or text. And by her calling an hour after she didnt answer your call...sounds like she wants the upper hand of this playing hard to get. It seems like a game, but thats how some girls play it. Like it or hate it...your still interested enough to ask this thread our opinions so roll with the punches and if you seem interesting enough without being overbearing I'm sure things will start to work out. Also, remember that often time people really are just busy...[/QUOTE]

Shes 27, im 28.

Yes I realize that often people are just flat out busy. But is 2mins out of your day to txt me too much to ask for? Whats her excuse for avoiding my call yesterday all day? Again too busy? She was the one who kept suggesting we hang out. I just dont get this girl and her true intentions.

I already asked her thurs night when we last talked, if she was serious about wanting to get to know me. I shouldnt have to ask that again.
[QUOTE=Jessicca;3945948]Well then you do that. How would you go about it, good question, I'd have to think about that one.
And If she doesn't smarten up, at least you won't be so hurt over this chick. But I have a feeling that she's playing mind games and she isn't all that attractive. Then how would you feel if she happened to meet you and wasn't what you expected? lol[/QUOTE]

If that was the case and she isnt as hot as she says, then I would be relieved to say the least. Cause I tend to get way too caught up in girls that im extremely attracted to and if she isnt all that, then I would feel like i had a burden taken off my shoulders.

I want to txt her right now, I still havent gotten back to her since she txt me late last night. What should I say? I want to keep it brief and give her the impression that im not impressed by her the least bit. Not impressed by her, but NOT upset.

I think what my friend suggested "ill set you up with one of my buddies instead" is genius! BOLD AND SARCASTIC! I would be like "ill set you up with one of my buddies instead"..."I have some stupid guy friends who dont mind playing games"

LOL, she would be so struck dont you think? Is that as bold as it can get? Then she will get the point that she has to smarten up if she still wants me.

EDIT: But what if she gets all upset from this text? And go on about how shes not playing games and im assuming things, etc.?
[QUOTE=Brokenheart88;3946262]Im not saying she has to explain herself. I just figured shes playing games because she only contacts me on occasion. I agree that I could be a bit too forward too soon, but it doesnt mean that she cant at the very least show some effort.

Theres no denying that shes playing games with me.[/QUOTE]

BUt you have said that she needs to explain why she didnt call on that friday night, that means explain herself. And I think you are judging very negatively...she may not be playing games at all, she just might not want to see you and doesnt really know how to tell you or how to discontinue contact (people can be like that, most girls expereince this at some stage).

WHy should she make an effort - she DOES NOT owe you anything. I think you have made a mountian out of a mole hill and havent stopped to think about your behaviour much at all - maybe superficially but not to any reall depth; you are still defensive and still blaming her for her lack of effort...I think you need to grow up about relationships...
[QUOTE=jsfai;3946413]BUt you have said that she needs to explain why she didnt call on that friday night, that means explain herself. And I think you are judging very negatively...she may not be playing games at all, she just might not want to see you and doesnt really know how to tell you or how to discontinue contact (people can be like that, most girls expereince this at some stage).

WHy should she make an effort - she DOES NOT owe you anything. I think you have made a mountian out of a mole hill and havent stopped to think about your behaviour much at all - maybe superficially but not to any reall depth; you are still defensive and still blaming her for her lack of effort...I think you need to grow up about relationships...[/QUOTE]

You seem to be the only one who sees this whole situation like this. I said already she wanted to meet up, she even suggested it twice! Youre making it sound like im all at fault here. She insisted on making plans for fri, she told me to call her that day of at noon (in which I did), she didnt bother picking up or returning my call the entire day. She went out with friends to a club and didnt even take 2mins out of her day to bother to tell me that. I dont know about you, but thats just common courtesy. Its flat out rude and a slap in the face by just ignoring me. I would never do it to anyone. I just dont get how you dont see this? Everyone I know has told me to just forget about her and move on - in which I most likely will.
[QUOTE=jsfai;3947441]now you're getting to honesty...I'm sorry this one didn't work out for you. But my philosophy is that for every date that doesnt work, it gets you closer to working out what is it that you are looking for...
I wish you luck. Stay in touch....

Jsfai[/QUOTE]

I agree, but either way im still very upset at her for acting this way and doing nothing but leading me on and being a tease. God I hate girls like her!
I suppose it takes some more time to finally figure it out.

question,
you said you hate girls that tease.
is this true that she was only playing you? or you pissed because she was just not that into you?
and you could not win her over ?

If I was you I'd drop this chick or at least leave her alone and if she is that interested in you she will do more than call,text, let her say things to you without you asking her to, let her come to you whatever it takes her to get back with you, only this time , let her know your feelings about her and how she makes you feel ect,,,ect,, and that you want to start an ongoing realtionship with her and just play it from day to to day and see how the realtionship goes.
but don't set a set time with her...just a day to day.
if that don't work out or what everyone has mention to you...drop her
[QUOTE=chevyman;3947494]I suppose it takes some more time to finally figure it out.

question,
you said you hate girls that tease.
is this true that she was only playing you? or you pissed because she was just not that into you?
and you could not win her over ?

If I was you I'd drop this chick or at least leave her alone and if she is that interested in you she will do more than call,text, let her say things to you without you asking her to, let her come to you whatever it takes her to get back with you, only this time , let her know your feelings about her and how she makes you feel ect,,,ect,, and that you want to start an ongoing realtionship with her and just play it from day to to day and see how the realtionship goes.
but don't set a set time with her...just a day to day.
if that don't work out or what everyone has mention to you...drop her[/QUOTE]

She is a tease, cause when we would talk over the phone, all she talked about was how hot she was, how amazing of a body she has, how much attn she gets everywhere she goes. She would always want to talk dirty with me and even said that, she would seduce me on the first date. Half of the words that came out of her mouth was about how classy she is, how hot she is, yada yada yada.

Shes not interested in me, and never really was. She flat out lied when she said that she was. Otherwise, im sorry but if youre interested in someone, you at least show some effort in getting to know them. Calling once every 4-5 days is not an effort. I dont care how busy you are, nobody is busy 24/7.

Im sure she will call or txt me again, (just the matter of when), but im guessing sometime this week. Shes off work tomrw and wed. Even then, im still not interested in what she has to say, I really dont give a damn about her anymore - shes nothing but lies. She will call I know, and say the same ol' speech that she gave me last thurs night "sorry ive just been busy with work...im still interested...lets hang out" :mad:
[QUOTE=Brokenheart88;3947472]I agree, but either way im still very upset at her for acting this way and doing nothing but leading me on and being a tease. God I hate girls like her![/QUOTE]

That's OK. It's normal to be upset at her behaviour. But remember that 'hate' is a very strong word and usually has more to do with you and your feelings than anything to do with the other party. Next time try not to put your heart on your sleeve quite so early, it can be scary for a girl...
[QUOTE=jsfai;3947684]That's OK. It's normal to be upset at her behaviour. But remember that 'hate' is a very strong word and usually has more to do with you and your feelings than anything to do with the other party. Next time try not to put your heart on your sleeve quite so early, it can be scary for a girl...[/QUOTE]

true, but like I said, I tend to get my hopes up for girls too soon. Once I meet them, I get too eagar in wanting to just jump right in. :( I hate it, because a lot of it can easily be avoided.
She most likely isn't at all how she described herself. After all, how many truly attractive, healthy, secure girls and women go around saying "gosh, I'm just so hot!"

A friend of mine met a girl online. She sent him all kinds of nude pics and told him she was his girlfriend. She even went so far as to tell him she was going to fly out to stay with him, gave him a date, time and flight number. Guess what...she never showed! It was all some elaborate hoax. Who knows why! Poor guy was devastated, and he never heard from her again. There's all sorts of weirdos out there and the internet has made it so easy to fool people. I had a guy send me a pic one time, and months later I found the same pic on a modeling website...he'd lifted it from the site and said it was him! Another guy I know got a picture from a girl he'd been chatting with, and he thought , wow, she's beautiful! Then he showed the pic to his mom, and she told him "that's Faith Hill off her latest CD!" So, it's easy for anyone to say they're this and that, but then they dodge the issue when it comes to actually meeting up. Which is a shame, because they believe no one will like them as they truly are so they feel they have to make up a false persona to attract people.

You're better off just writing this one off and holding out for someone sincere.
[QUOTE=brokenhearted83;3947851]Good! Next time, don't pick up, don't reply!

You deserve better than an arrogant girl who sounds like she's a teenager? Is she? Who knows! Who cares!

Move on and find a truly classy girl who you deserve![/QUOTE]

Shes 27, Im 28. The ironic thing is, she would always keep telling me over and over how classy of a woman she is and how mature she is lol. She spent an awful lot of time talking about how attractive and gorgeous of a girl she is, and when shes not going on about that, shes telling me how classy she is. :dizzy:

Sorry but classy girls dont go clubbing 2-3x a week. Classy girls dont dress like sluts (pardon my language). Classy girls dont lead guys on. A friend told me, usually when a girl who keeps saying stuff over and over and stresses on it, theyre usually the opposite.
[QUOTE=Redneon82;3948006]She most likely isn't at all how she described herself. After all, how many truly attractive, healthy, secure girls and women go around saying "gosh, I'm just so hot!"

A friend of mine met a girl online. She sent him all kinds of nude pics and told him she was his girlfriend. She even went so far as to tell him she was going to fly out to stay with him, gave him a date, time and flight number. Guess what...she never showed! It was all some elaborate hoax. Who knows why! Poor guy was devastated, and he never heard from her again. There's all sorts of weirdos out there and the internet has made it so easy to fool people. I had a guy send me a pic one time, and months later I found the same pic on a modeling website...he'd lifted it from the site and said it was him! Another guy I know got a picture from a girl he'd been chatting with, and he thought , wow, she's beautiful! Then he showed the pic to his mom, and she told him "that's Faith Hill off her latest CD!" So, it's easy for anyone to say they're this and that, but then they dodge the issue when it comes to actually meeting up. Which is a shame, because they believe no one will like them as they truly are so they feel they have to make up a false persona to attract people.

You're better off just writing this one off and holding out for someone sincere.[/QUOTE]

Thats why Im not a fan of the whole "blind date/meetup" sorta thing. Meeting girls online is fine, but extremely risky. Thankfully, Ive only met 3 girls in my lifetime off the internet, and surprisingly none lied about their appearance, but they either had serious baggage or a much different mindset (and for the worst unfortunately).
[QUOTE=chevyman;3948244]So what does he see in this girl?? or how could someone fall for this type of girl? maybe she is beautiful and has a beautiful body and thats all he sees?
blind sided by a Nice set of ,,, humm never mind.;)[/QUOTE]

I have a bad habit getting far too caught up in girls that im extremely attracted to. Now I know her and I never met, so I cant say 100% that I would be extremely attracted to her physically. But from what shes told me, she is my type of girl (looks wise). But I know that many girls tend to exxagerate on their looks.

The very first night we talked, I actually enjoyed talking to her and thought she was for real. But as time progressed, I lost interest and saw her true intentions. After we talked last thurs night, that really showed me what kind of person she was, and all the interest that I did have for her pretty much went down the drain. Her text on Sat night, pretty much put the nail in the coffin.
[QUOTE=jsfai;3948503]Reread your thread from the very start...you might see something very interesting - growth, realization, acceptance...[/quote]

I agree. And I thank you all for your great advice!

[Quote]No she isnt a slut or unclassy or those things, she's just not for you. Dont hold negative grudges it's not attractive in a man (or anyone!).[/quote]

She's not for me and she's definitely not classy! Sorry but classy girls don't play games. Classy girls don't lead guys on and just be a total tease.

[Quote]Yes she played you, but you played right back into her game...lesson to you and I think you realise that[/QUOTE]

What I should have done was not get my hopes up after the first night that we talked for 3 hrs. After the first night I really did believe that she was a decent woman with her head on straight. Boy was I wrong.

And now when I think of it, we met 13 days ago, but ironically we only talked 3, yes 3 times! That proves right there that she just wasn't interested and played me. People are busy, but no one is busy 24/7! Anyone who is the least bit interested would make a better effort than that!
I see that you're very preoccupied with girls who you view as being "hot". Those type of girls are typically more high maintenance and they tend to have that attitude about them where they think they can get any guy they want, so they don't treat them well. I think you should maybe start looking at people as a whole, including their personality and other traits also, because even if someone is average looking, they will most likely have more substance and a way more interesting personality than a shallow girl who only cares about getting attention.

In other words, stop going after girls just purely based on their looks. That's where you keep going wrong. That's why you keep getting played. Start looking deeper and get to know them on a more personal level because you'll find that a more average looking girl will most likely have a more interesting personality and she will not be as likely to treat you like you're just some puppy dog there to show her constant attention.





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