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Relationship Health Message Board

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I have to agree. This guy is not your boyfriend at all. He's just some guy you have cybersex with once in a while. I'm actually very confused as to what makes you think he's your boyfriend at all.

If this is not the kind of situation you want to be in, then you need to get out. Just break off contact with this guy. I don't think you even owe him any explanations, not that he'll really want one. Just stop calling, emailing, or responding to his calls and emails.
It sounds like he never really paid attention to you for the last 7 months anyway, so what's the difference if you're broken up or still together? Only now, at least you're free to pursue someone local who you can actually get to know on a true level instead of playing this ridiculous game with a guy who is clearly not interested.
You are feeling very emotional right now and that is okay because you feel you love this guy. Trust me, this will pass, the hurt, the emotions, the rejection, etc. Please give this time.

Meanwhile, I suggest taking a piece of paper and writing down the pro's and con's of your relationship with this guy. Maybe this will help:

1. When I met him he was affectionate and gave me lots of attention.

2. After 2 months he stopped being affectionate and the communication was not as good.

3. I needed him to share his thoughts with me on every level and he didn't want to or was not capable of it.

If I had married this guy what would my life be like? Would I have the sexual intimacy? Would he talk to me about his innermost thoughts and feelings? Would I end up hating and resenting him because he could not meet my needs?

These are questions you need to ask yourself.

And last not but least: Don't I deserve better? Am I not worthy of a more mature love that will fulfill me?

I wish you the best and remember that things happen for a reason.

And you've only met him in person twice. It's not like you guys had this long and drawn out love affair that was seeing each other every day. It's a lot harder to get over someone when they have been a constant fixture in your life every day. You hardly even knew this guy, he hardly ever paid attention to you. For the most part, it's like you rarely talked to him anyway. This isn't the end of the world, he's just some random guy that you met twice. You're better off finding someone and actually getting to know them on a deep level so that you know what you're getting yourself into before getting involved.
Feelings are feelings no matter how many times you met this guy. Feelings can not be shut off like a water faucet.

I remember the first time I fell deeply in love with a guy, I was very young and he was so handsome and said all the right words to me.. I ignored that he was drinking too much, that he was not a "good" person for me, I ignored it all... In fact I started drinking too much too.

Why did I ignore all the advice I was given? Because I "thought" I was deeply in love...

Everyone told me this guy was bad for me, I was giving him money, etc. Sure enough, he cheated on me and the relationship ended. I thought it was the end of the world..

But time went on and so did I and I learned from that relationship which made me a wiser woman today.. And so I hope the same will be with you..


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