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Relationship Health Message Board


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MOM23ANGELS
Don't beat yourself up over this, you have formally mention to your sister your there for her and support her in anyway she needs.

I suppose theres women out there thats just to unstable to stand up for themselfs, and take what ever life has to offer them being good or bad usally in Romatic Realtionship (thats unfortunate) there has to still be feelings with your sister as for as her realtionship with her hubby your BIL.

Some times a person just don't know what to do and feel the best thing to do is just stay in the situation and hope and pray things change for the better , maybe she thinks honestly in the back of her mind he will change, theres so many things you don't know about the inside of there realtionship, the things they agree on within them selfs.

As personal hurt as this affair maybe to your sister one would think that this marrige is all over and divorce and move on with there life, but your sister is probably wanting him to change and has forgiveness in her heart for him and she just wants to go on raising her kids and have a family and put this behind her.
I'm not making any excsues for your BIL what he has did to your sister will be a wound in her heart the rest of her life and she will always be looking over her shoulder, but if she loves him wants him not much anyone can do.

As for as you talking with her and her teling you about things ...she is just blind to the fact that he cheated on her and maybe she just blocks that part out and just wants things to settle down and them get back as a Family.

Maybe you should not mention anything about this to her what she should do or should'nt do, you yourself said it upsets you the way your sister is being fickel... just be a loveing sister to her and let her and her hubby figure things out, if she comes to you then yes help her by being supportive but until then not much you or anyone can do.
of course theres alyways therapy counsleing ect,, but even that don't always work out for one reason or the other.

I'am not sure that when your BIL mention this to your hubby if he was having an affair or thinking about it? the blame and guilt should not be placed on your hubby, he told you about it and thats all he needs to tell, in my opinon its up to you to tell your sister not your hubby.
men do keep secrets but not this one! even if they work togather so what, its your BIL in the wrong not your hubby! your BIL is no count, if your sister thinks your BIL had the Affair then its her that should confront him about it and its her decision to do what she feels...stay with him or leave him...in the end no matter what anyone does to help your sister its her decisison to make.





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