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Relationship Health Message Board


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For me, it wasn't until I got older that I realized I deserved to be with someone better. At your age it's hard to understand that because you haven't been through enough life experience. But when you get into your late 20s and early 30s, you start to realize that you are worth more. And your time is more valuable. Therefore you become unwilling to waste it with a pantywaste of a boyfriend who can't be bothered to have a job.

Hey listen, my most recent ex bf had a job, sort of. But it was sporadic work that didn't pay a lot and wasn't steady income. I make a lot of money at my job. He started making comments about me being the breadwinner if we ever got married and saying that he didn't need to work much since I have the fat paycheck. Pretty soon I got sick of it and I had to end it. I didn't let it go past 2 months because I didn't feel like wasting my time with a guy who didn't have steady employment. It irritated me. I know that if you were a little older and if you were working while he sits home and plays games all day it will seriously get old and you'll regret staying with him.

I've noticed especially in your last post about him that it sounds like you don't even like him. You said yourself you have nothing in common. It doesn't sound like you have any reason to continue this farce of a relationship. Kick him to the curb, girlfriend, he is only going to bring you down!
[QUOTE=Dark Stranger;3956212]Even my lazy, unemployed ex talked to me for hours a day...so what's BF's problem?[/QUOTE]

So what you're saying is that you have a history of dating lazy unemployed guys all the time? Can you see why this is such a bad thing?

Maybe we're all being too hard on you. Maybe you're one of those people who really doesn't care one way or another or who wants to support their boyfriend. If that's your thing, don't let us tell you not to. My point is just that you will grow to resent that position, when you see how all of your friends' bfs and husbands are contributing equally to the relationship while you're left being the one to pay for everything all the time cause you're the only one who ever has any money.

Perhaps some counseling might be in order to figure out why you keep finding these lazy unemployed types with no future who are far beneath you and not worth your time?
If I do need to learn the hard way, then so be it. I really do want to see if he will go back to the way he was personality-wise when I return from college. I do think that romantic nerd I fell for is still in that shell of a human of his and I want to at least try to bring it back out. I didn't spend this many years waiting to go back home to the guy just to leave him, so I definitely will be trying to see what I can do to remedy the issue that does not involve breaking up. Maybe the non-talking boyfriend is karma getting me back for the times I spent out with my friend and not being home; I have no idea.

The guy isn't completely worthless - he went into the military, but came home due to health reasons. He also graduated from the Job Corps. He has work ethic - he just needs a boot in the behind sometimes. I think we all need that sometimes.

And [B]RedNeon82[/B], it's easier than you think to get welfare. Someone I know told the welfare office they were too fat to work and they got benefits no problem. Others have claimed they were too stupid to work and have also received benefits. It's abuse of the system, but it can be done.





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