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Hi

About 3 years ago my marriage ended. It was really tough. My wife had an affair. After it all came out I agreed we should try and get through it. We went to relationship councelling etc but it became obvious my wife wanted to be with someone else when she started seeing a lot of yet another man. (I am not the jealous or controlling type by the way - she had freedom to see who she wanted without an hassle from me). Anyway, I eventually had to leave.

So that was hard, especially as we had a 2 year old son.

About 6 months or so later I met another woman - Marie. We have been together for nearly 2 years. She is the most compatible person I have ever known. I love her an awful lot. We laugh so much, have great sex and I enjoy being with her no matter what we did.

3 weeks ago she told me on the phone she feels we have no future - it was a bolt out of the blue. We both have kids (I have my son, now 5 and she has 2 girls, 7 and 12). She says she cannot see us all getting along and therefore sees no future in it.

In shock, I asked if her girls had said anything - and apparently not. Marie did think I was great with her kids. I wasnt really getting a good answer. I asked if any of it was due to me, or her feelings for me. She did say that she felt guilty going out with friends, but also stated it wasn't anything I said or did, she just wished I spent more time with my friends. I admit I had stopped seeing them very much - which I have since corrected.

So all that was left really was for me to arrange a time to collect my things from her place (we hadn't got as far as living together, although we spoke a lot about it). That night I didn't sleep hardly at all. I was a compete wreck.

Next evening when I arrived to collect my things, Marie wanted to talk - I just wanted to get my stuff and get out of there because it was unbelievably upsetting. She said she wanted to give it a try to work things out. I was surprised, but please obviously. She then confessed that a big part of the problem was my son - who admittedly can be difficult - we think he may have ADHD. So I agreed to give her space to do what she needed to do (get councelling).

So for the next 3 weeks I just answered when she called, or replied when she texted but nothing else. It was extremely painful - not knowing if after all this she'd just end it anyway.

But eventually that is what happened. Last Thursday she confirmed she couldn't see a way around the problem of my son and us all being together, so there was nothing we could do but finish the relationship.

I am unbelievably upset. I am 41 years old now and I love this woman and want to spend my life with her so badly. This all seems such a shock.

I know that this pain will ease with time but, although I've had serious relationship breakups before, I have never felt a loss of love like this before. I feel like my whole future has been taken away. My self asteem has taken a big hit.

I got a note from her in my things when I got them (this time I insisted she was out). It said she was miserable and felt like the light had gone from her life. That I deserve the best, and she is thinking of me always.

I am just so hurt. I just wanted to come on here for a bit of support from any kind people who can offer it. I cry an awful lot. Can hardly focus on my job. Nothing I own has any value to me now. Feel empty and life seems pointless. (Apart from my son who I love unconditionally).

Sorry this has been so long. At least this evening I am going to a friends house and not stuck in doors on my own.

Thanks.. Steve.





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