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Hi everyone

Having seen a couple of friends get cheated on and another one be the cheater, I have thought about infidelity a bit over the past year and here are my conclusions, so am interested in the opinions of others.

1) Anyone who cheats cannot be content in their relationship
2) I do not think it is possible to really love someone and cheat on them
3) There is no typical cheat and some otherwise nice people can cheat as well as the not so nice ones!
4) For there to be ongoing cheating then any guilt is not strong enough to lead to remorse or changed behaviour
5) Where there is NO guilt, then I would say the relationship is pretty stuffed!

just my 5c worth and am keen to hear what others think!
[QUOTE=littlegoddess;3966823]Hi everyone

Having seen a couple of friends get cheated on and another one be the cheater, I have thought about infidelity a bit over the past year and here are my conclusions, so am interested in the opinions of others.

1) Anyone who cheats cannot be content in their relationship
2) I do not think it is possible to really love someone and cheat on them
3) There is no typical cheat and some otherwise nice people can cheat as well as the not so nice ones!
4) For there to be ongoing cheating then any guilt is not strong enough to lead to remorse or changed behaviour
5) Where there is NO guilt, then I would say the relationship is pretty stuffed!

just my 5c worth and am keen to hear what others think![/QUOTE]

This is a simplistic view of looking at cheating. I would bet you are young, and I wish I was that young and innocent again! I am NOT condoning cheating; but the problem is there are so many different views by so many different people. Not everyone believes that cheating is wrong. Not everyone has a clear definition of cheating. In addition, not everyone has the same definition of love.

To answer your points above, I have learned that:
1) You can be content in your relationship and still cheat. However, typically a cheater has a reason (in his/her own mind) for the cheating.
2) You can love someone to the best of your ability and still cheat on them.
3) This is very true.
4) Even those who feel terribly guilty can continue to cheat. It eats them up inside but for some reason the cheating is stronger than the guilt.
5) If there is no guilt, then the relationship is screwed, yes. If someone doesn't feel guilt, then they either don't feel love or they are perhaps a sociopathic personality.

People who cheat justify it to themselves one way or another. They can love their partner and still find a way to live with the cheating. I have seen people who are cheating on their partner, who feel so good in the instant but then totally remorseful and guilty when reality hits. They tell themselves they won't do it again, and yet they do. That does not mean they don't love their partner.

Even though I believe this, I would never, ever remain with a man who cheated on me. I do not believe in it, nor do I condone it. I think that if you chose to be in a relationship, then you need to do everything you can to make that relationship work. If you've tried without success, then end the relationship. Sadly, not everyone believes this way or we'd have fewer cheaters!





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